[googley]

I feel stupid for writing this post. I know my depression can mess with my impression of things so I don't know if I am interpreting this correctly or not. I am trying to figure out if I am being too sensitive or not. I know that people grow apart, but I'm trying to figure out if they ever cared. I had friends in college. A lot of them graduated two years before me (I graduated three years ago). I had kept in touch via email and phone. I even visited one when I was in town. However, they never contact me. I will call them and leave messages every once in a while, but they never return my calls. Even less often I will reach them and we will talk, but I just don't know. They never contact me via email or phone. I don't know how long I should hold on to these friendships. Should I just give them up? Should I call them again? I just don't know. How long is too long. Do I have any friends?

[Naturefreak]

Googley
If they never cared , they weren't friends to begin with.
If you have one true friend you are doing good .
Most of us who suffer from depression are sensitive people.
I wouldn't let it get you down too much Googley.
I only have PC friends which I am grateful for.

[greyday]

It is really hard for me to stay in touch with people. A lot has to do with my mental illness, but it becomes a chore for me to stay in touch with my friends from college. They call me, invite me places, but depending on my mood, I ignore them for the most part. Every now and then we have a good conversation. But they never give up on inviting me to things and I find solace in that. That they haven't given up on me. It is just so hard to maintain friendships for me. Maybe your friends feel the same way, that it's hard to keep up with people you don't see everyday. Maybe they are very busy or under a lot of stress. If they mean something to you, I wouldnt give up on them.

[Rohag]

My Experience: As I have moved through the different stages of my life, I have lost contact with the acquaintances and few friends of each stage. I have ONE friend from from high school with whom I remain in twice-yearly email/letter/gift box contact. I think I may have one to three other friends with whom there's rare, sporadic long-distance contact. Thankfully, I'm married and additionally belong to a dog.

I believe a few of the people I knew in each stage of life really were friends. Had I the energy and focus, I might be able to renew at least a couple of these friendships, at least in long-distance form. Fact is, though, people move on, become involved in daily activities, and change or adapt to new circumstances. I'm grateful for the friends I've had, and I've made some sort of peace with letting go.

Googley, you seem to have a deep yearning for a companion - someone more than a friend. That's a Good Thing. A real companion cannot "cure" you, cannot make you "successful," but can make life easier and far more meaningful. Healing and success may be secondary outcomes of healthy companionship.

May companionship find you.

[bipolo]

I know how you feel. I had some closer friendships for a while but they got busy with htheir own lives and families. They had closer friendships now with people who have kids their kids ages. Mine are all grown now so I don;t have anything in common. But I tried to get togther for a long time and finally just gave up. I too don't have any friends except my 18 yr old daughter, who is married with and had my first granddaughter. I get sad to think people are so busy with their lives they can't find time for a cup of coffee or a few minutes on the phone. They have their own "clix".

[Naturefreak]

Hope you are feeling better today Googley.
Like Rohag said , friendship cannot cure or make you more successful . It can make your life more meaningful though . Isn't that what we are all looking for.

[lonegael]

((((Googly)))) I find that I often have just enough energy to get through the work day and have enough juice left over to fix dinner before I disolve. There is just nothing left for anyone out side my family, and that is not meant to be a rejection of them. I have friends who are at least as floored by their own lives, and I can say that I know and understand that the long periods of silence from either direction are not personal; Life just swells to supernatural proportions My friends are mostly still my friends.They are going through the same things, but we are now mothers, professionals, wives, caretaking daughters....the list goes on and on. Take heart. They probably are happy to hear from you, Googley. They are probably just perpetually overwhelmed. Hugs.

[CK23]

Googley I can totally relate to what you've been going through... I have tried over and over to reach out and make friends with people but they never care apart from when they 'Need' things from me like exam notes or advise or some other favour to boot...I am a very lonely person as a result but there are a handful of people that have seemed genuinely friendly towards me and as a result of that i havent given up on them cos even though they dont really keep in touch they were kind enough to embrace me when the going was rough...
I suggest you keep in touch with only the genuinely friendly people and shut the door on those who only come to your doorstep for advise on what clothes to wear for their engagement and then disappear for another four years before popping up again with two kids in a supermarket...
Lots of hugs!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( googley ))))))))))))))))