How do I pull myself through this?

My T wasn't me to go to support meetings. My PDOC wants me to exercise. How do I do these things when all I want to do is sleep? I go to work and come home and sleep and do it all over again.

As I read these posts I cry because I know how you all feel.

I see T Wednesday and what will I tell him? I'm doing the same thing.

Any suggestions?

Tell both of them exactly what is going on. I have a T who wants me to do certain things also. They will not understand unless you say you are so depressed you can not even get out of bed. Your pdoc especially should begin you on some meds or change the meds you are on.

(((Raceka)))

I can understand how low energy you may be feeling ~ I struggle with that too at times. In my very low times, when I have to force myself to do everything, I do the bare minimum to just keep going. I will push myself hard on those days/weeks to get out of bed. But I continue to push myself as far as I can go.

I may not feel real enthusiastic (about anything in life) at first, but I can push myself harder and harder as times passes. Even though I normally love exercise, I have to push myself real hard to go for a walk on those rough days. After 1/2 to one mile, I've finally gotten more into the experience of the walk. On those hard days, walks in nature work the absolute best for me! Staying out of the public eye is what I need to re-gain some positive focus in my life. Being out, alone, with the trees and favorite music is a huge emotional release.

I highly recommend that you push yourself hard. Also, tell your doctors how hard you have to push yourself to keep moving. Best wishes to you!

Shez

Why don't you start off by walking to the mailbox then a jaunt down the street. That can qualify as exercise. Increase it each day by just a little. After you do this then maybe you can incorporate a support group. Good Luck.

I can totally relate to what you're going through. There was a time not long ago when I was distancing myself from everything and everyone. I just wanted to be alone.

At first, my T said that I am taking the time that I need in order to deal with what I'm going through. But then, it became more than that. I was sinking.

It was then that he felt that it was "time" that I got out and socialized. I told him I didn't want to. I had ZERO energy for it. I asked him how I can do that when I have no energy. He said to do it in spite of having no energy. Easier said than done.

I've attempted every now and then....but for the most part, I am still withdrawn from family and friends, and hardly do anything enjoyable anymore.

So, I feel your pain.

Hugs mixedup emotions. I have been witndrawing also from family and friends lately. Too depressed so if you ever want a friend to talk to on here you can pm me.

(((((((((Raceka)))))))))

Thanks for all your support.

Does the Christmas commercials bother anyone else?

They are killing me. Everyone is a happy family decorating, cooking, shopping. I don't have any ambition to put any decorations up.

Luckily, I don't watch TV...but the holiday approaching is certainly adding to my depression. Especially with it being the first holiday post divorce. I feel so incredibly alone...even though I'm not alone. I have my beautiful 8 year old daughter. I have family. I have friends. But I don't reach out to them because I want to feel my misery in solitude.

We put our tree up a couple days ago and some decorations, and it just makes me feel oh so sad.

The christmas commercials kinda get to me too. Reminds me of a better time when I was younger and my parents were still together, I was doing great in school, had a million friends and nothing bad to worry about. Those were the days, eh?

As for the lack of energy, I know what you mean. I fell back into depression recently and I've noticed my trips to the gym getting to be fewer and far between, and not doing all of the things I used to do while attending. But, I'm trying to push myself to just take that extra step and run for 10 more minutes, or go to the gym another day that I would've just stayed home. The more I deal with it, the more I see how depression really just saps every aspect of your life if you don't keep a close eye on it.

Raceka....

I'm brand new here, ( waiting for my post to be approved) But wanted to say I know exactly what you are going thru!

Most days for me lately are just coming to the computer or laying in bed dozing most of the time. BUT....I have been battling with my depression on my own for several years now with no meds and no professional help other than what I find on the net.

I have found when I am like that I FORCE myself to at least walk one block and then come in. In my mind I'm proud of myself as technically I walked TWO blocks...one there and one back. The next time I do another block and I'm up to four. Yes it's hard to do that. But I try to remember how I felt AFTER I walked that block or two. I get fresh air, I'm forced to brush my hair at least, and my mood lifts a bit more. Even if you do this once or twice a week...you may be surprised how it motivates you to continue!!

And in regard to the commercial question....I've turned off the TV for the most part and if I'm really bored, I just watch a DVD or something. No commercials....the holidays are going to be tuff for me this year and I've already started my own spirial.

But try the one block, twice a week and see if you can challange yourself to more!

I'd avoid the holidays completely if I had it my way. Very, very depressing time of the year for me ~ and has been for many years. It's real tough to "act" happy and with spirit. I do my best around my girls and avoid it at all other times.

That's my technique. Hopefully, you'll find a way to make your way through, without too much misery. Best wishes!

Shez

I walked on my tred mill for 20 minutes on Saturday. It felt like the hardest thing I every had to do.

(((((((Raceka)))))) Great!!!!!! Very good! Keep fighting, hon. I'm not saying it gets easy, but it gets easier, even if it takes a while before you notice. excercise is one of the best things you can do when you are depressed, it keeps your system from slowing down even further and helps you immune system kep in trim. Hang in there. HUUGGGGS to a winner.

Thanks you!

I guess this is one positive to not having a TV, no annoying Christmas commercials telling me that it's time to be happy, social and productive. I can just judge myself based on my own expectation (high enough) instead of society's.

No TV here either. I have to go to the other house for the TV (complicated cultural structure of most Swedish farms not adressed at this time). I LOVE it, because I don't get the who freak out about the holidays, like Merlin says. Very recommended Hugs all!

[quote=A_Long_ways;1208714]The christmas commercials kinda get to me too. Reminds me of a better time when I was younger and my parents were still together, I was doing great in school, had a million friends and nothing bad to worry about. Those were the days, eh?

Those commercials do get to me. They point out everything in terms of "family" I have never had and have failed to create even with my own kids. I guess I'm not meant to have a happy family life, in this life! I'm left to wonder what the heck my purpose really is because family and friends isn't it for sure.

I have never liked any holidays either. I don't really see many Christmas commercials cause I don't spend to much time watching TV, but when I do see em they don't really bother me. I hear ya though with years ago being "the days". I think about those days all the time!

Frankly, I think the out of proportion picture the media gives of families is a big problem. We have had so many %&&/ up holidays because of either my family or my husband, and yet we do still love them and each other. We have a kid who makes traditional Christmases a rare occurrance but I couldn't see having one without him.
We are all a bunch of individuals trying to get by with each other, and sometimes we get lucky and love is naturally part of the mix. Sometimes we have to work on it and sometimes it's just not there. There's no magic in family. There's no purely whitelight and cuddly coo families. It's mostly hard work with a few dividends doled out as afew moments that work. The comercials try to tell you if you spend enough money, the magic can be yours. what a crock, eh. Huggs all, and inspite of the tone, I do wish you all peace this holiday, and the ability to screen the riduculous comercials.

((((RACEKA))))

I am proud of you for walking on your treadmill. That is a start. You should be proud of yourself too. It is hard to make yourself do things when in the grips of depression but you did it. Taking that step however small it may be is still a positive step. One step that the depression did not get to steal.

I do hear you about the Christmas commercials. I feel so sad when they come on. I do not have any good memories of Christmas when I was a child or teen. I see the children smiling and playing and I wonder what that would have been like. What it would have been like to feel safe and happy.

But for me these last two years have been the only Christmas's I have felt safe and found the true meaning of the season. A time of sharing and loving that I did not know could exist. Even though I had children, Christmas's were not happy. Yes, to see my children smile was special but the circumstance was always the same.

I hope you get to feeling better. Know you are not alone. We are here and listening. We care. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps