Isolation

I am having trouble getting out of isolation. After a fallout with a friend I'm afraid of seeing her. I already have some kind of mild social anxiety, and there's another friend who I haven't seen in a while but every time I think of calling her I put it off, scared because I'm not sure what to say.

I'm sitting here, my boyfriend is sleeping.
I feel like right now his lifestyle controls my life. I rely on HIM for social interaction. It's unhealthy. I don't leave the apartment without him, except for work. The apartment is always a mess which I hate, and we always ALWAYS end up on HIS late night schedule because I can't sleep while the light is on in our studio apartment. I do best in the morning and by the time I wake up its almost noon

I'm also trying to figure out which classes I should take next semester. I have an option to take a class WITH my boyfriend but I'm starting to wonder if this would be a good thing for me? It's instead of a class where I know NO ONE.

Update: I'm proud of myself, I made a "playdate" with a friend I don't know quite as well TOMORROW

It's a step in the right direction - long road to walk though

Good for you! That's a brave step. I hope you have fun.

Also, I would try to take classes separate from your mate if you can.

That is fabulous news. Good on you!!! I hope you have loads of fun! You deserve to!

Yay! ((((((Turquoise sea)))))). Would talking to your guy be helpful about maybe not ALWAYS being on such a late schedule? I mean, you talking. I doubt he would care what I have to say We have had a little of the same problem here, just other way around. I tend to go later than my hubby if I'm not carefull. Eventually he just passive agressed himself to where I notice now that he is suffering until I go sleep Honestly, talking might have gotten us here 15 years earlier. Huggs, and I hope you have a good time with your friend!

(((((((((turquoisesea))))))))))


I'm glad you're getting out to see your friend. I hope you have a lovely time!

I'm not sure about the schedule thing. I know when I go from living alone 8 months of the year to living with my family whose schedules are SO different from mine, it can be really frustrating. Have you talked to your boyfriend about it at all? Maybe you could compromise -- he could use headphones, book lights, etc to reduce some of the disturbance, or maybe you could try ear plugs/eye masks when you go to bed? The six people in my house are ALL on separate schedules and we've found some of those things helpful.

Also, how are you around other people when your boyfriend is around? Are you more comfortable talking to others if he's with you? I know that I'm a lot more at ease in social situations when I have a friend with me ... in that way, it might help you get to know more of your classmates if you feel more comfortable in the group setting having him there. On the other hand, if you think the opposite will happen and you'll wind up spending all your time with ONLY him in class, then maybe taking separate courses would force you to get to know other people instead? I know it's hard, I have some mild social anxiety of my own.

Anyway, I hope some of this helps and have a good time tomorrow!!

((((((((((((((( turquoisesea )))))))))))))))))

Turquoisesea, GOOD FOR YOU for making the playdate! I know it is strange for you to have your life lined up with your bf, but mine is lined up with my CAT! That means grazing at all hours and sleeping in a ball most of the time. Your social anxiety seems to be much better than mine. NOt that I am one to be offering advice, but when I find myself obligated in a one-on-one social situation [no groups, thanks], I keep the conversation going by asking them questions about themselves. That way, it keeps them talking, and I don't go away feeling I have revealed too much. If you can find something to honestly compliment a person about, do that, too. Can you share your concerns with your bf? That would be a good step to take. Caring About You ~ billieJ

(((((turquoisesea)))))
You are taking the right steps to help yourself, keep at it, we are all cheering you on. Have a great time with your friend

I am proud of you as well. Although it is a long road to walk through you don't have to walk alone. Feel free to contact me. I will listen and try to help the best way I can.

When I get depressed I also seem to isolate myself from others, the only thing that really seems to help me is forcing myself to leave the house, even if it's only to run to the bank or something. Just that little amount of time outside of the house (and work doesn't count) seems to have enough impact to make things just a little bit better.

good luck with all of these things you are struggling with. I don't know if I'm the best to give advice in these situations either, as I'm not in a relationship right now, and also tend to isolate myself a lot since a lot of people I know drink, and I don't drink anymore...but, doing something with a friend sounds wonderful. It's good to have your own life too that is separate from your boyfriend. Also, doing things that you love to do, taking care of yourself and not being so dependent on him might be healthier, but I don't know how you'd go about doing that, it's just my analysis from what you wrote. Having a conversation with him about your concerns, like other people wrote, would probably be a good idea. Good luck on this journey you are on.

How did it go?????

Actually it went rather well =) It lasted a while, and we ended up just sitting and talking about things, filling eachother in the past year or so of our lives. She also has a mental disorder so it was easier to talk about SOME of those things for both of us. We'll see how the friendship works out =D We also watched some TV shows, and had some tea and did random things around her apartment

I'm happy to hear it went well This definitely is a step in the right direction

Wonderful news, Turquoisesea! Sounds like you both helped one another.

That is great Turquoisesea!!!

Yehawww!!!!!!