[googley]

I don't care about anything. I'm supposed to write two long papers this week one by Wednesday and one by Friday. I just can't get myself to write them. One I have kind of outlined, but it is the really long one. I just don't have the mental or physical energy. I wrote the introduction but I can't seem to get anything else done. Usually even if I don't want to I can get myself to sit down and write because it is due. But I don't want these to end up going down to the wire because then I have other work for tests next week. I feel like a failure. I can't even keep myself together. I've been having urges to SI and I feel like I'm draining all my energy to not do it. I feel like I was right for wanting to become a hermit. Then I wouldn't have to have the energy to write papers. All I want to do is sleep, all the time. I work so hard to get here and now I just crash.

[Naturefreak]

(((Googley)))
Try as hard as I might , I don't have the words.
Sorry my friend Take care

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by googley

I work so hard to get here and now I just crash.

I wonder if this isn't part of the problem.

Originally Posted by googley

I don't care about anything.

In the short-run, I can see the importance of the two papers. In the long-run, however, not caring "about anything" is fundamental. It's a significant depression marker.

When was the last time you had a genuinely refreshing rest, Googley? I don't necessarily mean sleep or a vacation or break. When was the last downtime of any type you had where you emerged revitalized?

[phoenix47baby]

googley,

You will get through this this week. Even if it is down to the wire. You know how to get passed this. I will be sending good thoughts to you!

[BeautifullyMistaken]

I find myself in the same situation all the time. All you can do is just get it done before it's due. Don't let yourself crash...It WILL work out. You will get your work done, and once you do you will feel a huge weight off your shoulders. Take care of yourself. Get a good nights sleep and take it from there.

[turquoisesea]

(((googley)))))

I feel in a similar situation right now. You do what you can. Get some rest, be kind to yourself. It's GREAT that you've written the introduction. Maybe one more paragraph when you feel ready but then celebrate that accomplishment with a break, something special. Take care of yoursel

You care enough to post. Good luck, googley.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( googley ))))))))))))))))

[billieJ]

Dear Googley, ~ I have been there, where you are, during my school days. If you have already outlined your longest paper, good for you !! Now just link it together. It you can, write the second one about something of interest to you, like your condition. You know a lot about that. You will get through this - just turn in the papers, no matter how they are, if you have done all you can. You have much to look forward to - after school is over, work is a piece of cake. Sharing your struggle of trying to do things and wanting to sleep. May YOU win, and you WILL! billieJ I care about you!

[googley]

Thank you everyone for your support. I really needed it. I am feeling a little better today. I think my depression and anxiety was made worse by my Celiac disease. I am still getting used to what it does to me when it acts up. It can totally knock me off my feet without any warning and put me deeper and in a different place than my usual depression. But it is still hard to tell them apart, especially when my brain is all clouded. At least it doesn't last more than a couple of days and then I return to my usual depression. I never thought I would be happy for my usual depression. I go to the Pdoc tomorrow so hopefully he will have some insight too. Thank you all for your support. It means so much to know that you are all here.I hope to be around more soon when my finals are over. I think of you all often even when I'm not able to be around too much.
Rohag- I have no idea the last time I got rejuvinated rest. Probably some time before I was a teenager.

[romanjames2004]

As bad as this will seem, I am one of those people who loves the "I don't care feeling". Don't ask me why but I think that I just get a point of calmness and relaxation from it or somehting. The part that really sucks is ten minutes before it is due when I am scrambling to get it done lol. I hope everything works out for you.

[lonegael]

(((((((Googley))))) Jes start writing, anything, whatever cmes to your mind even if it sounds like yo're on something. A lot of what brings on these feelings is the anticipation of having to hammer out a perfect peiece of work, and if I'm deressed, then I don't want to either. Just give it a go. You can always take the nonsense out later, but just break the inertia. Hang in there, hon!