A Christmas Card

I have previously posted about my former best friend-the most recent thread being this one.http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=115641

Following her breaking contact I have continued to send Christmas and birthday cards.I think she sent a birthday card to me the first birthday after she broke contact but nothing since.So,this year I was very surprised to receive a Christmas card.This was not in response to mine as I received it before I had posted mine to her .There was no message or news beyond the usual Christmas greeting.I just don't understand why someone would behave so unfeelingly towards someone (as she did to me),break contact and then all of a sudden,just send a Christmas card.It doesn't make sense.More so since I know for a fact that she is not the sort of person to just do something without giving it alot of thought first. Can anyone shed any light on why someone would do this? I sent my card off as usual but am not inclined to do anything else.I am extremely wary of this person now.Very sad since I used to think the world of her.

Maybe she is having second thoughts about breaking contact. Or she may have just wanted to let you know she was thinking about you by sending a Christmas card. It's hard to say what her intentions were I suppose.

I can relate to your feelings. My former best friend and I have been no contact almost 5 weeks. I left her a Christmas card and pink roses (her favorite, I think) on her windshield at work...just to be nice. She never called to tell me Merry Christmas, Never even got a simple email with two words; Thank you. We spent literally every single day together for 7-8 years....Thought I had at least deserved a thanks.

I thought the world of her too, parts of me still do and I don't even know why. Anyway--enough of my sob story. If you know she did it and had to give it a lot of thought beforehand, maybe you should email her or call her. Just tell her thanks for the card and ask how she's been. (That is, if you want to have contact again). Maybe after the 3 years she realized she made a mistake. Long mistake---But better late than never...? Good luck Impala.

Good luck.

I second with Byzantine. sometimes if someone knows that the topic is sensitive and feels badly about they're role, they will either prolong the silence or do what your friend has done, sent a cautious, thought out greeting that expresses her wishes without promising more than she feels she can give. Again, I don't know her, so I can' say. It's just my guess. Good luck. Huugsss.

Thank you for your replies.I think I'm going to leave things-in my experience of her,she has always been able to do things if she really wanted to (or,to be blunt but truthful,if there was something in it for her).So,I'd need to see alot more than just a Christmas card before I would have any feeling approaching trust in this person again.I'm sorry if anyone thinks this sounds harsh but I really do think the ball is in her court .

(((Impala)))
good luck

It doesn't sound harsh, just realistic for the situation. More power to you, and huggs.

Is it wrong to leave the ball in her court if she has depression? Could this be her way of asking me to get in touch? I have wondered about these things.....................but still come back to,in the past,she has done something if she really wanted to,so if she wants to take things further,can't she do that?

It's not wrong to force her to make a decision. And it could very well be her asking to get in touch. Maybe she doesn't want to 'give in' and she wants to know if you want to be part of her life again. She might assume that if you want to be part of her life that you will respond.

I've been thinking alot about this.I 've heard nothing further .Can't she make the next move if that's what she wants? Like I said before-she's always been able to do things if there's something in it for her-ill or not.The way I look at it,if she wants to get in touch,she can.Saying that,I'm still baffled as to why just send a card and nothing else after all this time.I guess I'm still very wary and disposed to look after myself,even if that's selfish.