[x3legit]

My life was fine last year, probably better than ever, summer 2009 was probably the best summer of my life. Family was all healthy, i was carefree, everything was going good. Then September came, it was time for me to start highschool. I came from a school of 180 kids TOTAL from grades K-8. So it was a big change, i got used to it but a lot of my friends went to different highschools so i really had no one..My bestfriend changed completely and we kinda grew apart, i made new friends and all but...ya know. Within the first month of school, my godfather had a stroke and the doctors gave him no hope. No one thought he would make it, but thank god he's still alive today althought he can't talk and is paralyzed from the whole right side of his body. a week after the news about my godfather..my 17 year old cousin was in a car accident and died..this..basically changed everything. at first i didnt react to it. I thought i'd wake up and everything would be a nightmare. untill the day of her viewing and funeral. i was a mess. it killed me to see her..like she was asleep..but i lost it when i realized she would never wake up. I constantly have dreams of her and i just wanna break down sometimes but i know i can't because of people around. No one knows about this, the only time anyone saw me cry was at the funeral and viewing. A month later..a girl in my class passed away from a sudden illness, i didnt know her THAT well but it was still sad...but wait theres more...my grandmother then broke her rib and shes in a TON of pain..i cant stand seeing her lying in bed all day long..this has gotten my dad really stressed out..my brother and sister constantly fight, my grades are slipping and i just cant look at anything in a positive way anymore. Every morning i wake up and hope everything is just a nightmare..but its not. I dont even WANT to wake up in the morning anymore..I've tried looking at things in a positive way but i cant. I usually dont get worked up over boys and stuff but the same guy i've liked since i was probably about 7 years old! now has a girlfriend, he's 3 years older than me. I know i should just give up on him but i've been holding on for so long. i just i cant and i dont WANT to. nothing is going right. and now i return to school after holiday break and its the same routine day after day after day..i want summer, i just wanna be able to drive and go wherever i want. I just want everything to be okay again..

[lynn P.]

I sorry you feel so sad and welcome to PC. You're right you've been through alot lately and so has the rest of your family. It's also difficult starting a new school when some of friends aren't there. It's really sounds like you need some grief counselling and you need someone to talk to. It sounds like your whole family needs some support right now. You could also speak to your school counselor as well. You're also at a time in your life where things don't seem as carefree, compared to when you were a child -this is a difficult transition. I really think you need someone supportive to talk to and if this continue's, you should see your doctor. I hope things brighten up for you this year.

[lonegael]

((((X3legit))))) sorry for your pain. Wecome, and you are very welcome to stay until things get better, and beyond, if you want! Huggs.

[googley]

hello.
Please tell someone (a parent, trusted teacher etc) how you are feeling. You deserve help. You have gone through a lot in a short period of time. Best wishes.

Googley.

[sanityseeker]

X3... I too am very sorry for all you have gone through resently. You are clearly a very insightful and wise girl to be able to speak about your sorrows. Please don't hold this in from the people in your life who love and care about you. Take it from some of us older owls.... get help as soon as possible. The longer you try to cope on your own the more this will impact your life forever more. It really is that important that you find help and don't limit the sources of the help.

Grief is difficult to process and it takes time and support to work through in a healthy way. Be sure to let your counsellor and teachers know what is going on with you. Let someone you trust in so that they can help you.

When I was about your age my mother was in a serious accident and left paralyzed. It devestated our family and for the most part I kept the effects to myself. While I masked my pain and used school as my refuge from my home life one day a teacher came to me to express concern for what he had noticed to be a real change in me. To this day I remember his kindness and will always appreciate him for providing me with someone to talk to. He was my angel when I really needed one. I was very fortunate to have him notice and reach out to me. Don't suffer any longer than you have already... reach out for help and support.

Wishing you well and your grandmother a speedy recovery. She is blessed to have a granddaughter such as you. Let your love shine and your grief and sadness subside. May 2010 bring great blessings of new joy. Take good care.

Please continue to check in and let us know how you're doing.

[coko27]

Originally Posted by x3legit

My life was fine last year, probably better than ever, summer 2009 was probably the best summer of my life. Family was all healthy, i was carefree, everything was going good. Then September came, it was time for me to start highschool. I came from a school of 180 kids TOTAL from grades K-8. So it was a big change, i got used to it but a lot of my friends went to different highschools so i really had no one..My bestfriend changed completely and we kinda grew apart, i made new friends and all but...ya know. Within the first month of school, my godfather had a stroke and the doctors gave him no hope. No one thought he would make it, but thank god he's still alive today althought he can't talk and is paralyzed from the whole right side of his body. a week after the news about my godfather..my 17 year old cousin was in a car accident and died..this..basically changed everything. at first i didnt react to it. I thought i'd wake up and everything would be a nightmare. untill the day of her viewing and funeral. i was a mess. it killed me to see her..like she was asleep..but i lost it when i realized she would never wake up. I constantly have dreams of her and i just wanna break down sometimes but i know i can't because of people around. No one knows about this, the only time anyone saw me cry was at the funeral and viewing. A month later..a girl in my class passed away from a sudden illness, i didnt know her THAT well but it was still sad...but wait theres more...my grandmother then broke her rib and shes in a TON of pain..i cant stand seeing her lying in bed all day long..this has gotten my dad really stressed out..my brother and sister constantly fight, my grades are slipping and i just cant look at anything in a positive way anymore. Every morning i wake up and hope everything is just a nightmare..but its not. I dont even WANT to wake up in the morning anymore..I've tried looking at things in a positive way but i cant. I usually dont get worked up over boys and stuff but the same guy i've liked since i was probably about 7 years old! now has a girlfriend, he's 3 years older than me. I know i should just give up on him but i've been holding on for so long. i just i cant and i dont WANT to. nothing is going right. and now i return to school after holiday break and its the same routine day after day after day..i want summer, i just wanna be able to drive and go wherever i want. I just want everything to be okay again..

Iam sorry that you are having it rough right now hope everything work out In your life they always say that joy will come In the morning and you have to belive that