Post deleted by DocJohn

I'm so sorry, Ian!! I know it's not much consolation, but at least now the healing can begin. It feels like the pain will never end, but, honestly, one day it will. We're here to listen and to care. Hugs! Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

I am really sorry Ian. I know you are hurting alot. I am really glad you came back and talked to us about it.
You seem like a really decent guy and you have a whole life ahead of you so don't give up just yet.
Keep coming and talking it out if you need to.
Hugs,
Heidu

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
~ Carl Bard ~

Hey Ian I know you're not into lame replies, so I'm going to do my best. First man, sorry for how you feel... believe me, I've felt it and it's not fun.

I'm going to take a different angle, so bear with me. Look at yourself man... look at how much you can love and care about someone else. Look at how big a heart you have. Can you see what you have to give, if only you could? Well you can, man. Maybe not with Erin, maybe not with the next ten you girls you fall in love with, but don't give up on love... you'll find the one who's right for you and then you'll know why Erin wasn't the right one. She seems so perfect now, but trust me, part of your pain is because you can't have her. It makes you want her more... you keep trying to get her to take you and confirm you are good enough to be loved by someone... and if it's someone you feel so deeply about, the confirmation appears more valid. You don't need that confirmation. You've got to believe you have something great inside a girl who's ready, and right will come and take.

I know you're hurting right now.. it's normal... just try not to overmagnify it... see what it is, bite the bullet, be optimistic that you'll have other chances, with great girls and one day, it'll be the right time, the right place, the right girl.... it'll happen man. Hang in there.....

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

Just sending you a big hug!

((((((((((((((((((((((((Ian))))))))))))))))))))

Forgoten

{{{{{{{Ian}}}}}}}

I am going to echo everyone here...you are strong and you will get through this. We are here when you need us.



Heather

Sucks. 30 years later, I still have thoughts and regrets about a gf I had when I was 18. She was very cool. In those days I was very much a hippie and so was she. She dumped me for a guy who had a bag of cocaine and a motorcycle. A couple years later I met, then married my present wife. She was not a hippie and I adapted to her, not the other way around. I sometimes miss the Bohemian life I could have led and did not.

Then I realize that I love my wife. She and I are as close as partners could be. (With the one secret you all know about.) We have amazing children. We have the same interests and live comfortably with the differences.

It has not been the life I wanted or expected when I was 18, but it has been pretty darn good all-in-all.

Don't get too hung up on what was, or what could have been. Try to enjoy the moment when you can, and have a hopeful expectation of some goodness in the future. Who knows what that might be. Just don't miss it because you are too stuck in your headful of memories.

Bumper sticker: Wherever you go, there you are

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Ian}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

It's okay to cry and feel bad. That can be healing. Know that we're all with you to help support you through this.
Wendy

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>

Well ok Ian...no more hugs...gosh maybe it's just me being a little bit more sensitive but do ya think you could have been a little nicer asking us to not give them? I am trying not to read into your words but fake and stupid are not great words in my book.

Fine with me...take care.
btw - I am not going to change my signature to remove the hugs in mine so just ignore them k?


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

Okay there Ian dude - here's a slap upside the head! Hope it makes you feel better ;-)

Sorry she didn't give you the response you had hoped for. That sucks. In the words of my friend Gary, though.... "NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!" Frees you up to meet other people, and definitely one who is all kinds of fascinated with you. That would be way more fun than someone who leaves you wondering where you stand, wouldn't you say?

Poor Erin, I feel sorry for her. She's never going to have the pleasure of knowing Ian on a romantic level. Sucks for her.

Ian is going to be a-ok!

I'm sorry you're hurting Ian........but just one small thing? No one on here shows fake or stupid emotions - they are as genuine as the people that talk to you.......you ask for help and we all try.......the hugs are an honest and genuine gesture to show that we care. If it offends you, that is a shame. Maybe you need more of them, rather than less?

Mary Alice

I apologize if that was too blunt, but I get rather testy when I feel that the people here get criticized for something that is refreshing.........honest and caring thoughts. Just being protective I guess, although everyone here can certainly take care of themselves.

Mary Alice

I'm sorry Ian you think the hugs giving in here are fake and stupid. It had come from my heart even if you don't think so.

Take care!
Forgoten

Ian, you might find on-line hugs sickly but only the person giving them would know whether or not they are "fake". In my case they are not!
Take care!!!!!
Fuzzy

I admit, my slap upside the head was NOT sincere!

Ian is going to be a-ok!

Besides, Ian - if you only knew how cute some of us really are, you'd be GLAD for the hugs! But no... you said you didn't want any... we'll just hug the other people instead...

Ian is going to be a-ok!

***Peanut's evil twin sneeks into the forum... "Hehehe...Bwuuhahahahahah"...let's out mad cackle***
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{IAN}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}!!!!!!!!

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

{{{{{{{{{{LMo Mary Alice Jill Fuzzybear Forgotten }}}}}}}}}}}}}}

These hugs are for you.


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

When I first saw them, being green to internet communications I felt strange about them too, but once you open your mind and realize that there are sincere people here and do have compassion towards others and their crisis you will maybe come to welcome those hugs.
First understand, those who send hugs, do not have to if they really didn't feel like that, so maybe you will in time come to feel the way I have come to feel towards them, if not it is your perogative, but never underestimate the reason or feeling behind those "hugs".
Take care, I wish you well.
DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

Ahhhh Heather {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{lots more to you}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} with xoxoxoxoxo



Mary Alice

omg Jill, you are too much!! I'm trying to picture you with an evil twin and I can't stop laughing. {{{{Jill}}}}}

Mary Alice

cracking me up! the evil twin!

Ian is going to be a-ok!

Teehee, that was too funny, Peanuts twin!!!

*smoochies* to anyone on this thread who wants one

Ian, about the hugs, I have to tell you that I had a feeling you weren't the type to want internet hugs but was afraid you would be left out since everyone else was getting them. I should have gone with my gut instinct on that one and I apologize. And I think that you asked relatively nicely on that too. I really wish that I could sit down and have a talk with you in person. Maybe then I could understand what it is that you need. One of the things I am trying to learn is to listen and not just jump in with advice right away, but that's kind-of the way it works here. All we have to go on is what you have told us.
Take care,
Wendy

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>