[hopeisntlost86]

So I dont know where to go or begin. I've been dealing with an on going battle with depression since I was 16 and I will be 24 in less than 2 weeks. My parents just recently started to notice that I've been acting "like a zombie" and what not. I haven't been eating, I either DONT sleep, and will be up for hours on end OR sleep all day (as I did yesterday). I quit my job - without even letting my JOB know....and I've gotten to the point where I dont wanna go on anymore. My strength: My siblings.

I suppose my parents which are my dad, stepmom and mom dont want to hear that their oldest child/only child have a depression and anxiety disorder. I've been fighting this long battle...almost a war for almost 8 years now. I feel like the other team, is winning and Im losing....whoever that other team is. :P

I've been abusing alcohol because whenever I drink, it takes everything away. And this isn't like regular 24 year old drinking. This is whenever I can get my filthy little paws on it. Morning, day, night. I'll drink and I wont eat.

I think the hardest part of all this is admitting, especially to the people I love that I have this problem. I felt like I was giving subtle hints for help, I told my stepmom I was vaguely suicidal and everyone just ignored my cries for help. Until yesterday. Now that Im starting to come to terms with this, Im looking for other people, maybe about my age, who I can talk to and have a support group. This has been an ongoing battle for me and Im ready for it to end.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Hopeisntlost86! I think you're in the right place - or places; various forums here cater to the different sides of our struggles.

Yes, the alcohol could be self-medication for the depression. It may be useful to consider your situation in the larger context of your family, for depression in one individual can reflect the stresses or dysfunctions of a group. And, of course, there's my "hobby horse": just because you're depressed doesn't mean all your symptoms must be due to the depression - you could have a physical problem.

I hope you have or can get access to the health care you need - physical workups, psychiatric assessments, therapy, etc. Regardless, here you are in a safe place; here venting is welcome - YOU are welcome.

Rohag has offered you very sound advice. Please get the help you need to turn your life around. Good luck.

[lonegael]

You've come a long way already just realizing that this can't continue and that you need help. Watch for the booze, it can make you feel better while it's in your system, but can make the symptomes worse by far in the long run. I'm sure you've probably heard it before, but it's just one of those things that maybe needs to be said a few times. Hope you keep posting and Welcome!

Originally Posted by hopeisntlost86

So I dont know where to go or begin. I've been dealing with an on going battle with depression since I was 16 and I will be 24 in less than 2 weeks. My parents just recently started to notice that I've been acting "like a zombie" and what not. I haven't been eating, I either DONT sleep, and will be up for hours on end OR sleep all day (as I did yesterday). I quit my job - without even letting my JOB know....and I've gotten to the point where I dont wanna go on anymore. My strength: My siblings.

I suppose my parents which are my dad, stepmom and mom dont want to hear that their oldest child/only child have a depression and anxiety disorder. I've been fighting this long battle...almost a war for almost 8 years now. I feel like the other team, is winning and Im losing....whoever that other team is. :P

I've been abusing alcohol because whenever I drink, it takes everything away. And this isn't like regular 24 year old drinking. This is whenever I can get my filthy little paws on it. Morning, day, night. I'll drink and I wont eat.

I think the hardest part of all this is admitting, especially to the people I love that I have this problem. I felt like I was giving subtle hints for help, I told my stepmom I was vaguely suicidal and everyone just ignored my cries for help. Until yesterday. Now that Im starting to come to terms with this, Im looking for other people, maybe about my age, who I can talk to and have a support group. This has been an ongoing battle for me and Im ready for it to end.

you sounded just like me, maybe a little different in this and that, but i know what you going through. im a drinker too. depressed. suicidal. i dont have a support group, but if you want to talk about things with me feel free to contact me. im 25 going 26 by the way, not your age, but i'll be here if you need something. we all here.

[Pomegranate]

Welcome hopeisntlost! You have come to a great place for help and support. Insist on seeking out and getting all the help you need: therapist, psychiatrist, meds, support groups, self help books, etc. etc. If you put all the effort you can muster into getting better, you will. We here at PC are here for you, PC is a great resource.

[In_The_Darkness]

Originally Posted by hopeisntlost86

So I dont know where to go or begin. I've been dealing with an on going battle with depression since I was 16 and I will be 24 in less than 2 weeks. My parents just recently started to notice that I've been acting "like a zombie" and what not. I haven't been eating, I either DONT sleep, and will be up for hours on end OR sleep all day (as I did yesterday). I quit my job - without even letting my JOB know....and I've gotten to the point where I dont wanna go on anymore. My strength: My siblings.

I suppose my parents which are my dad, stepmom and mom dont want to hear that their oldest child/only child have a depression and anxiety disorder. I've been fighting this long battle...almost a war for almost 8 years now. I feel like the other team, is winning and Im losing....whoever that other team is. :P

I've been abusing alcohol because whenever I drink, it takes everything away. And this isn't like regular 24 year old drinking. This is whenever I can get my filthy little paws on it. Morning, day, night. I'll drink and I wont eat.

I think the hardest part of all this is admitting, especially to the people I love that I have this problem. I felt like I was giving subtle hints for help, I told my stepmom I was vaguely suicidal and everyone just ignored my cries for help. Until yesterday. Now that Im starting to come to terms with this, Im looking for other people, maybe about my age, who I can talk to and have a support group. This has been an ongoing battle for me and Im ready for it to end.

Welcome to PC!