[NickCaraway]

Hi, all.

I'm new to this whole thing...I mean, I've never sought any kind of treatment whatsoever. I know I have depression. I've taken quizzes and all that (not that I really needed to) but haven't seen a doctor or anything. I've been kind of dreading that. I had a platonic female friend who tried all kinds of treatments and it nothing ever took with her. I had to stop being her friend because she got too out of control and that's what's fueling my fear of going to see someone. I don't have a "family" doctor so it's not like I can ask them for a referral or anything like that (but I can afford one)

You know, being a guy (and not a teen) it's tough to find some answers because a lot of the advise is geared toward women (no offense) or to guys who have a wife and/or kids. I feel like I didn't learn some vital lesson earlier in life and now I don't really know how to deal...and I know it's kind of silly to feel like I'm under some kind of pressure when I know there isn't any or not much.

Another thing I don't want is a pity party. The last thing I want is for people I know to feel sorry for me. That's another thing I worry about with regards to getting some help. I'm going to have to ask people to help me and I don't want my friends and relatives to pity me because I can't handle myself.

To put it bluntly, it sucks. I see other people around me taking joy from just normal everyday things. Getting motivated and all that...but I'm stuck.

I was hoping some of you could try to point me in the right direction.

[msolson81]

Welcome to PC Nick. It is difficult taking the first steps to getting help, so I commend you for coming to PC and posting. That is a huge step. Everyone is different in how they respond to treatment, be it medication or therapy. Sometimes it just takes time to find the right medication or even the right therapist or doctor, but it doesn't mean that you won't find something to help you. I guess I would go find a doctor and they can talk to you about whether medication is appropriate or refer you to a psychiatrist. That is one step you could take. It is a huge step at that. Just know that this does not make you weak, even though you may feel that way being a man and having to ask for help. Just know that getting help will help you take care of yourself, and in that, will have more to give to other people. Hope this helps

msoldon gave it to you straight, NickCaraway. Depression is an illness. Therapy and meds are treatment tools. Do the smart thing and get help. You deserve it.

Good luck.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, NickCaraway!

Originally Posted by NickCaraway

...I don't want is a pity party. The last thing I want is for people I know to feel sorry for me. That's another thing I worry about with regards to getting some help. I'm going to have to ask people to help me and I don't want my friends and relatives to pity me because I can't handle myself.

On the one hand, you have little or no control over what other people will think. On the other, you can handle the matter on a strict need-to-know basis. Even those whom you judge need to know can be told only what they need to know in technical terms, e.g. "Medical tests indicate I may have a serotonin/norepinephrine imbalance" - use your creativity.

Best wishes for handling both the medical and social aspects of the illness.

[trevorzero]

As long as you are not demonstrating any self-pity, then you shouldn't bring out unwanted pity in others. Try to deal with this problem "like a man," with pro-active steps and with clear eyes. You aren't a basket case, so don't let anybody treat you like one. You are just a guy who has a problem and is dealing with it as best he can.

[NickCaraway]

Well, thanks, all. I appreciate the advice/kind words.

I feel a little better today...although the early part of the day was a little rough. I'm looking into doctors and whatnot that are under my medical plan. I hope to schedule my first appointment in the next week.

I'll keep you posted.

[NickCaraway]

Well, thanks for all the kind word.

I'm doing a little better today, although the first part of the day was a little rough. I had a rough night of sleep.

I'm looking into doctors that are on my medical plan. I hope to schedule my first appointment within the next week or so.

I'll keep you all posted. Again, thanks for the support.

[NickCaraway]

Sorry about the double post. Didn't know my posts had to be moderated.

Please keep posting so we know how you are doing. Good luck.

[lynn P.]

You're very brave for reaching out for help. Depression is an illness and isn't a weakness in character at all. Also make sure you're eating well and exercising regularly. Best of luck.