[Radien]

I am tired of trying. I have had problems for so long and when I finally build up the courage to try and seek helps it seems like there is none. I would rather self-destruct inside then on the outside. I'm going back to the way i was and i don't know if i am more relieved or scared. The old me shares no emotions, no one knew anything was wrong with me, and i was stronger. Now i break more easily, have found more triggers, and am more frustrated. I am scared though because i don't know if i truly want to to back to the way i was. I was colder, i cared for few people but if you were one of the people i cared for i would kill for you. I feel self-destructive, violent, and broken down. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want my guidance counselor to leave me alone, i want to stop breaking down and showing emotions. I can't see a T without jeopardizing my relationship with my dad, and i would never want to do that. I just feel like giving up and going back to the way i was.

[1flagwriter]

Radien, my friend...I am sad for you and am here if you need to vent or chat!

Please get some help! Are you still on meds? Talk to me....

[Radien]

I was never on meds and thank you 1flagwriter for being here

[1flagwriter]

Radien,

I'm here if you need me!

Your Pal,
Flagwriter

[Rohag]

Hi, Radien! Your bio indicates circumstances have forced you to mature quickly. Nevertheless, you haven't reached the point where you can act with real independence. That's an uncomfortable place in which to find oneself.

The "help" easily within reach (guidance counselor) is insufficient and/or unsuitable for you. Is there anyone in your school, teacher or counselor or administrator, with a background in psychology whom you could approach discreetly? Your needs are too important and serious to pay attention to the "rules"; whether or not that individual is "assigned" to you or your grade level or serves formally as a counselor is irrelevant. At the very least they might be able to refer you to someone else who may be able to help.

Wishing you the strength to carry on a bit longer!

Have you talked to you Dad about what you are going through? I doubt he would agree with your decision.

[Radien]

I haven't had the chance my dad is not doing the best right now, he will be fine though. He went to the hospital today for ultra sounds and ex-rays. don't really want to add anything else on him. Especially because when he is sick he gets kinda clingy and much more sensitive. And Rohag i don't think their is anyone else at my school to talk to. I am pretty sure i am getting really bad anxiety problems lately, i don't know if it because i am trying to get my self to regress to what i was and that isn't the easiest thing to do.

[angie2716]

Hey friend I'm sorry you are going through this right now. If you need to talk you can pm me. We are all here for you and care about you. And we don't want to see anything happen to you. Hugs

[Radien]

Thank You Angie and everyone. I may be off a little the next week or so because things will be stressful and i am trying to get things the way they were before i asked for help. So thanks for hanging in there with me

[angie2716]

No problem hun. Take all the time you need. And your welcome. Just hang in there and we will be waiting with open arms when you are here. Hugs!