[PsychStudentCA]

As not only a psychology student, but also someone who is being treated for depression, I know firsthand the symptoms of this disorder. I have a very supportive family and excellent medical care and am making progress everyday. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is extremely depressed and I'm wondering if anyone has any insight for me. Unfortunately, he comes from a culture that is very conservative and status conscious. The parents dictate your profession and what is and isn't acceptable. They also are "old money" and if you do not cooperate with their wishes, you are labeled a loser and an embarrassment. As you guessed, this is my boyfriend. He would be happier in a creative job instead of the technical job he is in. He makes less than everyone in his family (even though he works for the family business) and is made to feel like a failure by his family. He doesn't want to go out and do anything, he has fits of rage and that turns to tears and then he talks about how worthless he is and how he'd be lucky if he got in a car crash on the way to his crappy job. He has recently started on Wellbutrin (bupropion) and it's mellowed him some, but as he says, "doesn't make my parents stop treating me like a loser and making money off me." He can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, he's agreeing to keep taking the meds and it's a struggle to get him to do that. I guess I'm looking for something else beyond what I'm doing already until I can get him more help. Thanks for letting me vent

Is your friend legally an adult? Is he putting up with the way he is treated for the money he anticipates one day will come his way? What does his parents think of you? Do they know you exist? Why are you with someone who allows his family to dictate the terms of his existence?

[1flagwriter]

This one is complicated. He should stay on his meds. He should also put his foot down and move on if he is above legal age.

[PsychStudentCA]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Is your friend legally an adult? Is he putting up with the way he is treated for the money he anticipates one day will come his way? What does his parents think of you? Do they know you exist? Why are you with someone who allows his family to dictate the terms of his existence?

If only it were that simple. In his culture turning his back on his family is similar to treason (ok, it's not that extreme but that was the closest thing I could come up with at this moment). When he went to college they told him they wouldn't pay for him to go unless they picked a major they "approved of". Now he's stuck working for them because in the industry he works in, there are no jobs available. We're both almost 30. As far as them knowing about me, he doesn't share any of his life with them outside work. His close uncle knows about me. It's not about allowing them to dictate his existence it's about how he was raised. Therein lies the problem. He needs to do what he needs to do regardless of their disdain, but it is challenging because the rest of the extended family will shun him and turn their backs.

[PsychStudentCA]

Originally Posted by 1flagwriter

This one is complicated. He should stay on his meds. He should also put his foot down and move on if he is above legal age.

Ya, as I mentioned I am on meds myself, and know their value once you find the right one. Everytime he gets really down, he swears they're not working and he's not going to take them anymore. Then I inform he is and he usually agrees. It's interesting because he can call one minute and me on fire about how crappy his life is and how worthless he is and he isn't going to x, y or z anymore. Then the next day or even later in the day he wants to go deal with whatever those were. An example, he has some fines due for his spare car and he's like "what's the point in paying them because I never have free time to enjoy anything I might as well sleep at work." Next day he'll call and be like "let's go on Wednesday and get the car stuff done." So I normally take the tirades with a grain of salt other than knowing that he's really hurting inside.