[sun_flower]

Is any one else here going through a similar situation? If so it would be nice to chat with you about your situation. Maybe I could learn something, or maybe I could offer help as well.

I think that my tendency to get depressed is probably genetic, but the fact that I am depressed almost all the time is situational, I think.

My marriage is stressful now, due to the fact that my husband is the sole bread winner, and has been for the past 6 years. I feel like he is resentful that I stay home.
At one point in our marriage, I earned more than him! And did so for quite some time.

Now I'm hit with depression and anxiety, chronic fatigue, osteo-arthritis in my feet, obesity, and a mystery mass in my chest (just had a CT scan for that, yesterday--4th one) and a bad short term memory and concentration. I also don't have a shred of self-esteem. I have always felt ugly, even when I was thin. I look at old pic's and I'd give anything to look like I did 10 years ago.

I just can't work right now, I can't stand very long and I can't sit and work due to memory and concentration problems. I also feel like co-workers mis-treat me. I had the same job over 19 years and I took a lot of abuse. Some that I reported and some I didn't, because little was ever done about it.
I would like to be employed and earn a living sometime in the near future, if I could get well.

I sleep a lot when my hubby is at work and my kid's are at school. My house is not as clean as I would like it to be, but I don't have the desire to do more than the basics; laundry, and dishes, etc...

My kid's don't show respect for me. Add that to the resentment that I get from my husband and that's a sure recipe for depression.

I don't know how to change my situation for the better. I feel like the only way to make my husband happy is to earn LOT'S of money and be 135 lbs. again, instead of the 245lbs. that I am now because of meds and sleeping all the time.

I'm not good at parenting. I do what my mom did. I yell when I'm mad and I spoil my kid's when I try and show that I love them. And I know that's not the right way, but it's what I know, and it comes naturally to me.

[petunia1224]

Sunflower, I sure can relate to what you are going through right now. I have depression, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and lots of pain, so I do not get done much either. I do not have any living childre though. My only son ended his life due to depression when he was 19. Try to hang in there, which I know is easier said than done. I feel for you and will try to come up with some suggestions to help you. What meds are you on? That can really decide hwo fatigued you are too, and there is meds to help with that which I could not live without! Take care of yourself!

[turquoisesea]

Hey, I'm not in a similar stage of life *I'm a college student right now* but I wanted to send some good wishes your way. Your situation does not sound fun, do you have access to good health care where you are? It sounds like you need some medical and emotional care that you're not getting at home.

Is there anything you still enjoy doing? Maybe making a schedule around that - the time you're sleeping might be a good time to give yourself some special love and care as the "stress factors" are OUT of the house.

Take care, and good luck

[Rohag]

Hi, Sun_flower! More dissimilarities than similarities in our respective situations, but I find myself returning again and again to your post.

The marital tension is a biggie. I fear that may be fueling your children's attitudes toward you, at least in part. Of course, when you've got two teenagers and one on the doorstep of teenage, you've got a big challenge depression or not.

Have you applied for disability? Any type of official recognition in that department could open doors to assists to get back into the workplace. Then again, were you to go back to work, how would that affect the household?

These are just stray thoughts. Keep posting...

[lynn09]

Hi (((sun_flower))). Since you say that "you think" that you have a genetic predisposition to depression and that the fact you are depressed most of the time is situational, I get the sense that you have not had a psychiatric evaluation and are not in therapy. I really think getting evaluated should be your first step since there are so many medications available now that could help you manage the depression, anxiety, etc. Since depression really skews your perception, appropriate treatment and management of it in conjunction with psychotherapy could help improve your fatigue and difficulties with concentration and memory - then you will be better equipped to examine and deal appropriately with your home life.

Get yourself the very best mental and physical healthcare that you can to give yourself the very best chance to improve the quality of your health and your ability to function. This alone could have a very positive impact on the rest of your family. Also, once your family understands how your depression, etc., affect you and what kind of support you need, they may be less resentful and more compassionate towards and supportive of you in your recovery. Of course, everyone here will support you any way we can, so keep posting. Hope you feel better soon.lynn09

[sun_flower]

Originally Posted by petunia1224

Sunflower, I sure can relate to what you are going through right now. I have depression, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and lots of pain, so I do not get done much either. I do not have any living childre though. My only son ended his life due to depression when he was 19. Try to hang in there, which I know is easier said than done. I feel for you and will try to come up with some suggestions to help you. What meds are you on? That can really decide hwo fatigued you are too, and there is meds to help with that which I could not live without! Take care of yourself!

I take 150mg. of Effexor a day. My dr. upped my dose last week, but it made me sleep constantly and I have to be awake to take care of my kid's when they aren't in school. SO I am now back at the 150 mg. dose for now.

I'm sorry to hear about your son. I can't imagine what that must be like.

Very little activity sends me to bed, so tired that I can't get up to eat until I recover several hours.

Thanks for your reply, and I hope you feel better.

[1flagwriter]

Sunflower, how are you doing?