[Elana05]

I haven't been sleeping well. I feel so anxious tonight. I don't know who I am or what will become of me. I know I am the one responsible for my life, but that hasn't worked out so well for me so far. All I can think is "what am I going to do?" over and over. Therapy is helping, I know. But on the other hand sometimes all it does is throw these questions back at me to answer. It feels like it's going to take forever. I feel so tired and very confused.
I'm worried about not pulling my weight in my relationship, and being too much of a burden due to depression and past issues that I just can't seem to shake.
I'm worried that I can't be strong and independent and in control of my life while also being in a relationship with someone else (child of an alcoholic thing I guess).
Also I have a medical issue that is getting worse and I'm worried. I need to see a doc but they're all booked up and it's been so difficult to find one. I have one last option in calling my insurance directly but even that I can't do until after the holiday, which makes me feel concerned.

Sorry about my rambling tonight. It just feels better to put it down here.

E

[shaggy dog]

I'm sorry Elana05 about your troubled night. It sounds like you have so many things on your mind that it is no wonder you are feeling restless. I know in my marriage it is a two way street. There are times my wife is strong for me and there are other times that I am strong for her. We pull each others weight. I guess all we can do is to keep fighting the illness, for ourselves and for our loved ones. I'm sorry to hear about your medical issue and I hope your insurance can come through for you. I hope your anxiety can wash away and you can get the good nights sleep you deserve. shaggy

[concern1970]

Originally Posted by Elana05

I haven't been sleeping well. I feel so anxious tonight. I don't know who I am or what will become of me. I know I am the one responsible for my life, but that hasn't worked out so well for me so far. All I can think is "what am I going to do?" over and over. Therapy is helping, I know. But on the other hand sometimes all it does is throw these questions back at me to answer. It feels like it's going to take forever. I feel so tired and very confused.
I'm worried about not pulling my weight in my relationship, and being too much of a burden due to depression and past issues that I just seem to shake.
I'm worried that I can't be strong and independent and in control of my life while also being in a relationship with someone else (child of an alcoholic thing I guess).
Also I have a medical issue that is getting worse and I'm worried. I need to see a doc but they're all booked up and it's been so difficult to find one. I have one last option in calling my insurance directly but even that I can't do until after the holiday, which makes me feel concerned.

Sorry about my rambling tonight. It just feels better to put it down here.

E

You sound as if you have had a few things in life, that have brought you down, Im sorry that things in your past have not been kind to you. I have reached a stage in my life too, when Im trying to make sense of my direction in life, and really nobody quite knows which way their's are gonna go. If only we had a book, to help us, for when times get tough and we can't quite figure out what moves to take, would be good, dont you think, sending you a few to keep you strong

[justasmallpiece]

When I get like this, I say to myself - Am I gonna let all this stress and restlessness/anxiety take control of me...or can I try and take control of it. I try to accept what I am feeling, breathe and relax about the feelings of it all and slowly I calm down. If you have crap like I do about my past, I try and forgive and move on. Easier said than done, but with the forgiveness it is easier. I also have to acknowledge to myself sometimes that I am perhaps being too self absorbed and that is not healthy when I am feeling this way. I try to stay in the present as much as possible now too. Ruminating for me is just not healthy and really accomplishes very little.

[SophiaG]

Just close your eyes and tell your thoughts to be quiet so you can sleep. That's what I do when the thoughts in my head won't shut up when I lay down for the night.