[timeforsleep]

im 31 years old and im stil the same loser who got picked on in school it never ends!

[perpetuallysad]

Oh sweetie, **** those jerks! I know it hurts, but remember they are not your friends, just because you work with them doesn't mean you have to put any credence to the things they say.

Also, there is nothing at all wrong with being gay. If you are not too timid, why not ask them how saying you are gay is an insult exactly? Maybe turning their behavior back on them will make them see the jerks they are being.

Are you nervous around women? What makes you feel you are a loser?

[desperate&disturbed]

wow that's bs man, don't let haters get you down. they just need self-validation so they pick on you to make them feel better.
ps i saw this while listening to high school never ends xD its a great song, kinda sounds like your situation you might like it.

[Alexandria04]

I agree, people put others down just to feel better about themselves. Don't give them the satisfaction!

[NuckingFutz]

That sucks! I was bulied in school. I can relate to being bullied for different reasons. Are you in the US? Just passed a bullying law here. Surprised is done at work...usually it is by teens.

[SophiaG]

this is sad. Grown adults bullying others? What the hell? Is everyone back in high school again? :/

[CindyLuWho]

Those poor people. How sad their lives must be that they can only feel good by putting you down.

Remember, if the comments are about your sexuality, you have the grounds for a sexual harassment suit. HR and/or your manager might want to know about what's going on.

[Claire89-2]

I'm sorry you are feeling so distressed.

People who diminish others would do that to anyone. They fall within the stream of life of people. There are those who do that to others. They feel diminished inside of themselves and project that on to others because they can't tolerate that feeling inside of themselves. Then when they project it on to someone else, they hate that person but in truth it is self hate. Not that this helps the sadness and distress that you are feeling but the truth is that it has nothing to do with you what these people do and say. If you accept what they say as real, then you are believing something that is not true-it's make believe on their parts, a fantasy. It's just a projection of their own self hatred and diminished self esteem and an absurd assumption on their parts.

Know that you are separate as each of us is in real life and that you are not the other person who makes up stuff about you.

You only lose when you you lose your mind meaning when you give up what you know about yourself. Choose to not do that to yourself.

You'll include someone in your life at your own pace and when you are ready. If you need help with that, then seeing a psychotherapist may be useful to try to understand more about the things that frighten you. But that would be your own choice too.

- Claire


quote=timeforsleep;1362833]im 31 years old and im stil the same loser who got picked on in school it never ends![/quote]

[Lisa Michelle]

That's pathetic, bullying is bad at any age but to bully someone when you're an adult, it's just vile. I hope you can realise it's THEIR problem. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a 31 year old being single... whether you chose to be or whether it's just because of circumstances. I'm 24 and single and there is NOTHING wrong with it. My dad is 54 and single and there's nothing wrong with that too.
It's just very small minded of your work colleagues to a) put emphasis on a non-issue and b) try to degrade you by name calling.

I think somebody mentioned that it is grounds for sexual harrassment. If this continues I would defintely go to your manager, or whoever, and explain what is going on. It's not right anywhere but in the work place it's illegal... if they're such vile people they need to bully another human being, they deserve to be punished.

[lynn P.]

They should be ashamed of themselves. I only thought grade school kids did this, not grown men. It's none of their business whether you're gay or straight or whether you don't have a GF. Complain to your superior and ignore them - what idiots. Walk with confidence and don't give a crap.

[Perna]

What are you doing to work on your self-image so you don't see yourself as "the same loser"? Working on your self-esteem will make the feeling of bullying go away if not the actual fact, but usually that goes away too because who you are (you're not a loser) shows through from your inside out so there's no point in people trying to bolster their own fragile sense of security by making fun of you, because you won't be insecure (like they are).

Do you see a counselor/therapist? Getting a sense of who you really are will improve your world/life immensely!

[timeforsleep]

Originally Posted by Perna

What are you doing to work on your self-image so you don't see yourself as "the same loser"? Working on your self-esteem will make the feeling of bullying go away if not the actual fact, but usually that goes away too because who you are (you're not a loser) shows through from your inside out so there's no point in people trying to bolster their own fragile sense of security by making fun of you, because you won't be insecure (like they are).

Do you see a counselor/therapist? Getting a sense of who you really are will improve your world/life immensely!

No i dont see a counselor anymore

[crystalrose]

dont let them make you feel like crap. I hope that you find a girlfriend if that is what you want. Maybe join a few groups of things that you are interested in.

what is it about you that you think that you haven't found a girlfriend.

[Elysium]

If they are harassing you over your sexual preference, whether it is true or not, and it is causing you difficulty emotionally and in your workplace then technically it can be considered sexual harassment. They are causing a toxic work environment.

My suggestion....let your Manager/Boss know what is taking place and that it is making you uncomfortable. Your boss is responsible for making sure this type of crap doesn't take place. If your boss is involved in it...move up the chain of command. If you don't get anywhere you can file a grievance with the Bureau of Labor and Industries for harassment and discrimination.

I was constantly bullied throughout my life and I am extremely sensitive to it to this day...and I won't put up with it. I may fall to pieces...but if you're harassing me, I'm gonna take you down with me.

Stand up for yourself so they don't think this is acceptable to do to you or anyone else.

[timeforsleep]

Originally Posted by crystalrose

dont let them make you feel like crap. I hope that you find a girlfriend if that is what you want. Maybe join a few groups of things that you are interested in.

what is it about you that you think that you haven't found a girlfriend.

Im pretty ugly and boring is why I think

[*freak*]

I'm really sorry for what you're going through, I know what it's like being called names your whole life.

I'm not gonna give you advice about how to get a girlfriend, because honestly, I know nothing about that... I repulse the other sex or better, every sex
Anyway, what I wanted to say nevertheless is that I see plenty of ugly people dating and getting engaged. As for being boring, that's a subjective thing: there will be plenty of people who won't consider you boring if you give them the chance to know you.

I'm guessing maybe you could consider working on your self-confidence a little. Then you could look for something new you'd like to try, some activity or hobby that interests you. Once you start doing stuff you'll get more experiences that you'll be able to share with others. Once you'll have always something cool to talk about you won't be considered boring.

Take care

[lynn P.]

Yes I agree with Freak - ugly people(not that I agree you're ugly nor do I know what you look like lol). As my mom used to say "for every pot there's a cover". I also agree with Elysium - this is workplace harassment and there are laws to protect you. I recommend learning Karate - this will boost your self esteem immensely and give you an air of confidence. When people sense someone has confidence, they won't bother you.

What is the plan, timeforsleep? You going to work on self-esteem with a professional? Maybe talk to you supervisor about the harassment? How do these people know you cannot get a girlfriend?

You choose.

[timeforsleep]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

What is the plan, timeforsleep? You going to work on self-esteem with a professional? Maybe talk to you supervisor about the harassment? How do these people know you cannot get a girlfriend?

You choose.

no i dont go to counseling anymore

So, what are you going to do?

[kebsfroggy]

I get very angry when people forget we (well you all) are humans first. I'm just a frog of little brain so I don't count myself among the "we". Who you are or what you do is your business not theirs.

People are so quick to judge without the slightest idea of the hurt they are inflicting. Only small people inflict pain on others with their words.

I would be confined to my lily pad for a month if my mother heard me say this. But the fact is think of yourself first. Do the things you like to do, think the things you like to think. You can be anything you want to be.

Not having a girlfriend is not the end of the world. If fact there are a lot of male humans who rue the day they decided to ask a girl to be a "girlfriend."

I wish you the best and have faith that you will over come you problems with self-esteem.

kebs

How are you doing, timeforsleep?

[timeforsleep]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

How are you doing, timeforsleep?

not good i just stay in bed when im not at work . i dont have energy to make effort anymore. tired of myself and wish i wouldnt wake up from my sleep anymore

[Changeling412]

timeforsleep,

I am so sorry that you are being targeted at work. The things they say aren't true and are meant to make you feel bad. They can only accomplish their goal if you let them. If you don't have a girlfriend it's because you haven't found that special one that will love you for who you are. Trust me when I say that being in a relationship isn't always what's it's cracked up to be...if it's not with the right person. The next time they start with you at work, tell them to shut their pie holes and let you get your work done in peace for a change! I bet that would shock them into leaving you alone! Good luck and remember that you are unique and special in your own way and there are people out there that will appeciate you.

[kebsfroggy]

Originally Posted by timeforsleep

not good i just stay in bed when im not at work . i dont have energy to make effort anymore. tired of myself and wish i wouldnt wake up from my sleep anymore

After living in the FL swamp for the past 20+ years with temps in 80's I can understand why with temps in the 60's you would not want to get out of bed. My sister lives outside Seattle and she thinks temps in the 40's is a nice spring day. That is very difficult for this frog of little brain to understand.

I do understand what it feels like to prefer bed to the outside world. My pdoc gave me a pill so I would get up in the morning. Whoopee! It didn't get rid of the hurt and pain. It didn't change my desire to never wake up.

Even 5 years later I become easily overwhelmed with just living. So much pain that hides just below the surface to appear without warning. It's a deep dark place and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.

What helps? I don't think there is a concrete answer. Sometimes just forcing myself to move, walk, pull weeds, anything to take my thoughts off the pain. Sometimes writing down what I'm thinking (not allowed to post subject here). No fancy sentences just words, feelings, thoughts.

I doubt I've been of much help but we are always here for you. It's not an easy road to travel but this frog of little brain feels you can survive.




kebs