Is it my fault?

I have been depressed for at least 6 months now, and everyone i try to talk to about how i feel(besides the therapists), i mean my friends, say that it is my fault that i'm so sad. I cannot control my emotions sometimes, i don't even know if it's possible. I just get sad and cry because of little things like if i spill a glass of water. Which is really stupid, and i dont even think about crying, i just do. Is it really my fault that i'm like this, and can it actually be fixed. It's pretty much my biggest problem right now. Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

I'm sorry! I can't believe your friends say it's your fault! It's not. Are you on any medication, in addition to your therapy? If not, that might work, too! You can beat this. Don't give up!

Hi lxegirl,

Sorry you've been feelin' down. I would say listen to the therapists (as long as you feel they are listening and understanding what you are saying). I think a lot of people get into this notion of "positive thinking" as a cure all. Of course it's good to feel in control and think positivly, but sometimes (as you described) you just can't do it. (Or anyway I know I can't). Sometimes it's just impossible. Then you know it's something else that you need help with. That's what doctors and therapists are for. Sometimes it's hard to change people's minds when they think "you can just change if you wanted to." But if they really knew how it felt they wouldn't be so quick to make that assessment (imho). Better to just let their comment slide off and don't challenge them. Just take care of you! E

Once upon a time I had a teacher who was fond of saying (jokingly): "You're not stupid, you're just ignorant. But, boy! Are you ignorant!"

lxegirl, as much as you care for your friends and want their esteem, they're ignorant of what you're experiencing. Low mood for six months accompanied by inability to control emotions and near-spontaneous crying goes way beyond questions of personal fault.

I'm depressed, too. Just as Elana, I cannot "think positively" whenever I'd like, and even when I do, it's fleeting and is not self-reinforcing.

Friends are great for lots of things, but one has to recognize their limited ability to understand this illness. Some of them may be open to learning about depression; I hope they are.

God i am so sick of hearing how people always think its "all in your head" and acting like youre ****ing making up depression. What the hell is with that? No, we DONT make up this horrible noon day demon. =l

*rant over*

You deserve better than that. Listen to your therapists and with time, you'll get better.

It's not your fault, depression is an illness and anyone can suffer from it. I do think it can be treated, though, with therapy or self help, or sometimes even time (but mostly not), things can get better.

Try not to take your friends' words too personally, they obviously don't understand what depression is and how it feels and they're being quite harsh in saying it's your fault. I think you can change things but it's not your fault you are suffering. It could just as easily be them.