Sad

Feeling really down tonight. Bad anxiety. I guess it has been a big week. I find that I'm putting all of my anxiety into the problem in the gulf. I feel so hopeless and sad. How could something like this have happened? How could these people let it happen? It breaks my heart. I know I shouldn't take it to heart so much. Life is hard. Hard things happen. Better to get mad, rather than depressed... Sometimes it just feels like all of the fight has gone out of me.
Maybe time to look at new meds...

(((Elana05)))
I've heard people say that depression can be anger turned inward... and my boyfriend always tells me that I should get mad about bad things that happen rather than getting depressed. Easy for him to say! Anger can sometimes lead toward purposeful action, but when I'm struggling with my depression, I usually don't have the energy to get angry. And if I do, its at myself.
Maybe new meds would be a helpful thing... maybe it would help get the "fight" back in you.
peace,
garden gal

Hi, Elana05!
Fight? What is this fight you speak of? (It seems my 'fight' left me a long time ago.)

----- Possible Trigger -----
Real, non-adversarial question: Is the oil spill the primary source of your anxiety, or does your anxiety have an life of its own and is currently focusing on the oil spill? Is it easier or more comfortable to focus on the gulf than on a deeper issue?

Maybe it's an unhelpful question. Speaking for myself, I feel as powerless over my own depressive dysfunction as I do over the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Thanks Rohag and Garden Gal.

It just seems like my depression carries over from being about stuff in my own life to feeling like everything sucks on a larger scale. Like, "what is the point of this if we (as a race of people) are going to just keep f** things up." It's why I gave up on studying ecology.
So this is where I go when I get tired and run down. Yes, it definitely has to do with the things I am trying to deal with in my own life. Then I just sort of extend that feeling out to current events. I think it is an area where I could use some behavioral therapy.
I can see the difference as today I'm less tired, feel more capable and I can think to myself "Yes, this is hard and yes it is a major disaster. But there are numbers of people working on it. They're professionals. They know what they're doing. Time will heal these wounds." And when I feel more capable its easier to try to talk myself up in regards to my own life as well. Well. I'm rambling now. But I guess it helps to ramble... Thanks to you both!

Stanford Professor Robert Sapolsky, posits that depression is the most damaging disease that you can experience. Right now it is the number four cause of disability in the US and it is becoming more common. Sapolsky states that depression is as real of a biological disease as is diabetes. Stanford University: www.stanford.edu Stanford University Channel on YouTube: www.youtube.com