[heathery]

I havent been on here in three yrs but think its time I talk to someone again about well me. As selfish as it sounds i guess we all need me time. I know that we all have are share of depression and well mines prolly like everyone elses.....

A while ago when I was a kid i could have been happier thought all was well with the world then ....BOOM.... I was knocked into reality at an early age of 5. I always saw my parents fight dad hit mom thought it was normal. untill the day my dad tried to kill me. My mom took me out of there but I just never have been the same again. Why me? His daughter why try to hurt me? I still dont have an answer and I do still talk to him but Ive never in my life forgavin him. I will never be alone with him. Life got better. I met a great boy we were happy untill we split no big deal i thought well completely wrong. I wnt for a walk one day herd a noise behind me and it was to late. there was my ex who decided to attack me. I lost my mind after all of this. I dropped out of school went out and never came home. again i got better and returned to my moms went back to school and graduated with the help of the best teachers i could ever ask for. I ended up moving 500 miles from my family when i realized we were not healthy together. they knew my past they knew my fears and fed on it. My sisters beat me up all the time. It was a nightmare for me. I now live alone and really am scared to do to much. I was dating a guy for 5 and ahalf years which just ended and my heart is offically broken for good. I guess I just dont see how I could make everyone hate me so much where all they wanna do is hurt me? Im sure you know there is way more to my story then I will tell but this is the gist of it. I really wish I could just have someone to talk to about everything......Thanks for you time.

[Emotionally Dead]

Aw, I am so sorry for what you have been through. I haven't had much physical altercations as you (aside from the abuse I took from my step father at a young age) but I do understand your pain. The abuse I went through wasn't fun, but wasn't as bad as some people have it. He didn't get as violent as he could have. I know how that goes though. I really wish there was something I could do to take away some of the pain. I've gotten better with my depression lately, but it never completely goes away. I am glad you are a member here though, and you should come on more often and let us know how you are doing. If you want to talk, I am here. You can PM or IM me, just let me know.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((heathery))))

I can tell you're in a lot of pain and feeling down on yourself even though deep inside you know that no matter what, it is never your fault when people attack you. It is a terrible weakness when people do such a thing and though I don't forgive the things that they do, I forgive the person who did it. I've had more than what I would term "share" of violence in my life, and I am now committed to wiping it away.

Relationships are a lot more complex than most people think they are. Some people find it good early and have a blessed life; others don't get it so right and suffer for many years.

People with depression quiet often have a number of relationships that go wrong and it's not because they're bad people it's because they just don't know what goes into a relationship and how to sustain one.

I would honestly suggest that you stay away from any relationship for about 12 months at least and put yourself into therapy. Get to know yourself, get rid of what you don't want in yourself and prepare yourself to be able to llive with another human being in a balanced loving relationship. You can do this and you can do it well....you can only gain from this,

Rhiannon