[Myvino]

I'm new here, don't even know if this is worth posting or if I should be posting here, but, I really need help now. I've been depressed for a while (apprx. 1-2 years) and recently I've become closer with a certain friend, she knows how depressed I am, the fact that I use SI, and just about everything else there is. But the thing is... It's begun to rub off on her, I've talked to her about it all and now it's my fault I've gone and depressed her. She's also taken up SI which is my fault, too... I don't know what to do. I can't help her, I can't drag her down anymore. It felt so good to have someone to talk to, but now it's all my fault and it's tearing me up inside but I don't know what I can do. She's told one other person because I've convinced her to and now she's just regretting it. She won't let me say it's my fault and doesn't want me to help because it's her problem and I can't understand, and I don't even know how I would help her. She also won't let me tell the other friend she's told because she doesn't trust her enough, but from what I've heard from her and know about her myself, I know she could, and that she could also help her. If someone could please help me I'd greatly appreciate it.

[nowheretorun]

Hi

One thing you can do is stop blaming yourself for other peoples choices. I believe it's true we do influence those around us, but unless you've actually tied her up and forced her to do these things, she has her own mind.

If she is soft in self identity and emulates others easily, the best thing you could do is help her by helping yourself. She could see your healing and choose to copy it.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

[Myvino]

Dang, yeah, well... We did decide that we'd get help if the other did a while back... Of course, it's not really something either of us would like to do so that idea sorta flew out the window. I try to be cheerful and not do anything depressing around her, but it's hard... Anyways, thanks.

[Rapunzel]

Depression is a serious illness. While SI is sometimes learned, depression isn't something that you just pick up from someone else. My guess is that it would have probably happened to her anyway, but since she has you as a friend you two can support each other. You really can't take the blame for her problems - there are too many factors to blame anyone, including chemical and genetic factors.

The best way to influence your friend to get better, though, would be to work on getting better yourself and see if you can bring her up with you. It's scary to ask for help and see someone about mental health problems, but that really is what you need to do. It's really not that bad.


<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>

[moonlight]

Hey Myvino

Do you really have that much power over your friend?
Wow I really should have responded to this post earlier--so she started hurting herself after you started--that is a tough sittuation---all of my friends freaked out after they found out about my SI--none of them in a billion years would have done it too--they all took their laxatives (I found that out later) or didn't eat
Don't be so hard on yourself--
I really wish that you and your friend would seek counseling---I know the idea sucks and it is taking a big leap, but I really think that it would be for the best--I know I was dragged kicking a screaming into therapy when I was in high school--but it has really been an important outlet for me
best wishes
moonlight

<font color=purple> Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Goethe </font color=purple>

[ltlredvett]

To some extent I feel that depression can be "contageous".... but it is never your fault for inflicting it on another. EAch person has to take the reponsibility to do what they need to do to take care of themselves. Please do not place the blame on yourself.

[Myvino]

Alright, well thanks everybody...