Is it all my fault??

I am going to tell my whole sad story and hopefully feel better, maybe everybody tells me what a bad person I am and then I can at least kill myself...

Anyway about two years ago I started dating this girl, everything went well, my dad died the previous year and the emotional support was a warm welcome. About three months into our relationship I realize that the girls is having relationship issues with her mom, her dad doesn't stay at home with them and doesn't want anything to do with the mother although he doesn't openly admit it. The girl also had what I would call a alcohol problem, she denies it and says I am just using it as an excuse. Every time we would go out she would get so trashed that she cant see straight, but she doesn't get tired and sleeps she stays awake and just fight with me about nonsense. She wouldn't allow me to sleep either and purposefully tried to bring the worst out in me... Anyway long story short a lot of drama ensued, every time I wanted to end the relationship she would cry and ask me for just one more chance. Then one night it was the same story, alcohol and she being unreasonable and really saying hurt full things to me, we where in car so I got out and started walking home, she wouldn't let me ago and in my rage I threw a stone at her car and it made a dent... Lots of trouble... then about 3 months ago the same situation, this time she shouted at me in my car and tried to jump out of the moving car, me being slightly drunk grabbed her arm and pulled over, I then slapped her with the back of my hand... It left a slight blue mark, not much but I really wanted to kill myself.

Am I a psychopath? Her parents call me names and says that I am a women abuser and a piece of trash. Me and the girl are still friends and if we hang out her parents would phone me and tell me that if I touch her they would make sure I go to jail. Her dad also threatens to break my legs and when ever I try to explain all he says is that I am a psychopathic lier and I need help.
I don't know what to think anymore, I feel bad about these incidents but on the other hand feel that the girls constant drinking and calling me nasty things and trying to make angry is partly if not wholly to blame...

If anybody read this any advice or an honest opinion would be greatly appreciated!!

I'm sorry to hear about all of this difficulty Christi. It's hard for me to give advice on it, but I wonder if there is any way for you to move away from that place, to not see her anymore.

You don't sound like a psychopath to me, just someone who doesn't want to be taken advantage of. And it is possible for people to drive anyone to the point of despair. Your concern over having hit her shows that you do not thrive on that behavior.

It's even harder that her parents won't even listen to your explanation.

One time I was close to a problem like this and the innocent one actually moved away to break it up. Eventually, they moved back, but while they were gone the hard to get a long with person found someone else to latch onto.

I hope you find a solution soon. Maybe folks here have better ideas than mine. You seem like a good person to me. I hope you can avoid hurting yourself while you seek some advice from others. Don't let her win this encounter by driving you to hurt yourself or anyone. In my humble opinion.

Troy

Sometime when we are pushed too far, we have no choice but to react. Kind of a protection.

I will not say that it's a good thing to have hit her but maybe you should just distance yourself from this whole situation.

Thanks guys, I feel a little better. I know it was not right to do these things, I still feel horrible. Troy if if u say u have been in similar situation i am sure u know that constant emotional torment drives a person crazy...

anyway...

First of all let me say this...It always takes two to tango, I've dated a few women who were into the sort of behavior you derscribed, and actually, I believe that they want you to hit them...or at least be verbally abusive...why? because of their own incredibly low self esteem, they become uncomfortable when men treat them well because they have'nt had that sort of relationship "modeled" by their parents and are basicly "emotional cripples" in my opinion. I really don't feel as though assessing blame here is whats important, I'm simplty saying that to a large extent we're all a product of our environments, and our role models. She needs a lot of help, but will she accept it? are you the one to give it to her? what is your role in all of this? just how deep are your feelings for this girl? I'd weigh all of these things pretty carefully, and then I'd stay or go.

I don't think you are a psychopath. Most people can be pushed to a point where the lash out. Then add alcohol to the mix and the threshold is lowered.

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christi321 said: Me and the girl are still friends and if we hang out her parents would phone me and tell me that if I touch her they would make sure I go to jail.

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I'm curious why you still hang out with her? Does she still have the tendency to antagonize you when she gets drunk? Maybe she shouldn't be your drinking buddy anymore. By partying with her, you may be setting yourself up for more guilt and possible criminal record. Just to be safe, I'd stick to socializing with her when you both are sober.