[heathery]

Lately I just feel sooo alone no matter what I do. I've actually been going out a lot just to drink and b around people and I know that's bad. But at the time it feels sooo good. Then I come home to an empty apartment and its worse then when I left. No matter what I do I can't hide from my depression or anger. I'm starting to het mad for no reason all the time then ill just get super sad n cry. I feel as though something is very wrong with me and no longer know what to do. I hate not having any family where I live but when I am around them I feel worse then when I am alone. Maybe I'm just ment to b alone in this world....I don't see it getting any better soon. Its just I dunno what to do anymore I am sooo confused and I know drinking isn't the answer and comming from a home where both parents were alcoholics and fought all the time I really can see its wrong but again it feels great at the time......

[Rohag]

Hello, Heathery!

Originally Posted by heathery

...coming from a home where both parents were alcoholics and fought all the time...

Your heart bears deep wounds. May you find true healing.

Have you sought help in not traveling your parents' path?

[heathery]

no i havent tried to get help its too much for me to handle talking about everything just thinking about it all i have a melt down and i dont wanna be like them but i just cant help it at this point. i am completely alone out here. no family no true friends and the people i hang out with all they do is go to bars and drink. i know its not enough but i atleast wont drive i refuse to risk anyones life. i just wish i did have someone to vent all my past too and hopefully it wouldnt hurt so bad now.

[feary]

can you go to a support group instead, or join a club or take up a hobby or take a class, or go to do yoga to be around others, or go to a movie?

the yoga always helps me feel less alone

[Mrhomercat]

My door is always open, I know how you feel and am here if you want to vent. Are you seeing a T? A support group would be a start, you don't have to talk, just go there with an open mind and listen for awhile.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Loneliness/support-group

http://www.webofloneliness.com/links.htm

[heathery]

i never tried a support group but i have looked it up online and cant seem to find anything where i live to be honest. everything i do find says you have to pay. im trying to just get help with my depression bc i know if i can just vent or talk it out ill stop drinking sooo much i drink to forget and for the night i do but in the morn its worse then the night before so i am tempted to start drinking when i wake up. i know its bad but it all i have right now.