What's going on with me?! :/

So I've been suffering with depression and an eating disorder for a few years now. I started college a couple of weeks ago to try and fill a void and it was going great up until this week. I've really been enjoying the course but have found it extremely difficult to mix with people so end up walking round for about 2hrs on my own every day (breaks and lunch.) I didn't mind this too much because I knew it was only a short term thing but I've found it SO difficult these last couple of days.

Whilst in town at lunch I all of a sudden feel like breaking down and crying in the middle of the street because I can't carry on. I don't feel like mentally I can carry on and physically I find it so hard just to walk a few steps. Time seems to go by so slowly and the 10 minute walk back to college is almost unbearable and it's the worst I've felt for a long, long time. I'm not really sure if it's because I'm alone and have a lot of stuff going through my mind (even if I'm not completely aware) or if it's because I don't really eat a lot during the day and my body is crying out for food but it's just this overwhelming feeling of distress that I can't even begin to describe but it's just really horrible. Even when I get back to college I literally feel dead and sit there wishing I could just sleep for the entire day so I don't have to feel what I am feeling. I am absolutely terrified about going into college now because I can't bear feeling this way and I just have no idea what to do with myself.

I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone ever had anything similar to this and if you have.. what was the reason you felt like this and how did you overcome it?!

Thanks

moving away to college is a huge thing! even if yo're not moving out of home college is a huge step and it's so different from school.

i can honestly tell you that you wont be the only person feeling the way that you are! lonely and wanting to just scream and cry about it.

you've only been there a week or so, not time to get to know people. next time you're there, make time to speak to people on your course. get to know them. ask if they wanna go for coffee or lunch or something! It might just help

Hello, Zombified!
Years ago, in the month after my father passed away, I was on a city bus. Grief had been dogging me all morning, and finally a sudden wave of emotion engulfed me. I found I had to get off the bus. I walked to a nearby park and looked at some beautiful scenery. I don't remember how long I lingered, but I finally forced myself back on another bus and continued sadly to my destination.

I was late, and felt bad about being late, but I can't imagine I could have made it at all without getting off the bus.

That's all I can say about getting through those hours; I just don't know.

college was hard for me but a relief to not be at home... kinda start over. I was not always successful...i found a t at the college my last two years and it helped so much. I went 2 a week. I felt like at least i had someone who knew. Your school insurance probably covers the t. check it out at the health center!!!

Lesson number 1 - you HAVE to eat! Protein. Lots of it. It really helps boost your mood. You think sugar will, but it's a short high and a bad drop. PROTEIN! Tofu, beef, eggs, cheese, nuts.

Lesson number 2 - walking is good. Exercise helps.

It sounds to me like you have been living in "I can handle it" land and reality just smacked you with a two by four. You CAN handle it, but you have to take care of yourself!

Speaking with the authority of no one but myself...