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#1
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I am going to bed in a few minutes...but my emotions are going numb at the prospect of trying to start a new job--again. I am feeling really sad, anxious, & fearful at the idea of starting at a new place again tomorrow & so I'm trying to just make myself numb to it all.
I don't understand why I'm feeling this way. My physical health is still not that great. My sinuses are still messed up, my hips are hurting & need injections, my foot that supposedly has arthritis in it is really bad, & my teeth are in dire need of dental care. I have medical insurance but can't afford to go to the doctor due to the co-pays. I take over $250 worth of prescription medications per month, which is a lot considering my husband's take-home pay is only $700 for two weeks if he doesn't work overtime. I also need to see the P-doc to get my depression meds adjusted--but lack of funds hits me there, too. I have got to go back to work, yet I am terrified of it. I am trying to just not think about it, but it is only a few hours away. My husband told me not to go if I don't want to & he means it, but we can't continue to live on his salary alone & he can't continue to work the huge amounts of overtime he's been doing to make ends meet without killing himself. I just don't know what to do. I'm feeling so alone right now. No one around me understands what I'm going through & I cannot put it into words that any of them will understand. Kim |
#2
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Hi Kim, I'm really sorry you're anxious about starting a new job tomorrow. I really hope it goes as well as possible. Sometimes I find that the anticipation of something is worse than it actually is. I know that starting a new job is always stressful though. You are brave for doing this!! Let us know how it goes and I really wish you all the very best.
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#3
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Numbing is something that we do to protect ourselves. You are feeling anxious about starting a new job, so numbing is a way of putting aside the anxious feelings so you can begin the job like you want to do.
Try not to add the stress that comes from wanting others to understand what it's like for you. I think we forget how stressful things like beginning a new job can be once we are through it. Set aside their not being able to understand for now. New jobs are anxiety provoking, but the good thing to remember is that it is the newness and the unknown that we are anxious about. It won't be long before the new job will be something familiar to you and then your fears/anxiety will ease and you'll feel so much better. Good luck on your first day of your new adventure! ![]() |
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