[25toLife]

Ive been depressed, anyone thats read my threads knows that. but, within the past week, ive felt insane aswell. i hate my family, but ive never shown it very much, never felt it burning "inside" me. but lately, ive been enjoying the family problems, not just being apethetic towards them. today i had an "outburst". i was talking to a friend about this, and she asked what i meant by "enjoying" the issues. i eleborated, saying that i liked that my dad being kicked out for smoking pot made my mom cry, made hurt torn up inside. i said that the memory of my little brother crying when were told was funny to me. ive NEVER said anything like that before, even though i meant it. normally i would keep that inside and be the sweet kid everyone thinks i am, the person so uncapable of hate and barely capable of anger. but i dont know what made me step outside my "mask". i feel kind of bad about it though as i think i scared my friend. her words were "You're terrible! I honestly dont have anything else to say to you." and that was the end of our conversation. ive been having the desire to hut someone (no one specific) i just want to blow up at some one next time they piss me off. would any of this be considered psychopathy or sociopathy?

[cheshireKat]

I believe that psychopathy/sociopathy (more or less the same thing, but one term is used more in a medical context and the other in legal) is basically an inability to feel genuine emotion other than various shades of anger. Psychopaths are good at figuring out what makes people tick and manipulating them. They are egocentric and have no genuine regard for others, though they are talented at mimicking emotion--they get kicks out of deceiving people. Scans show that a psychopath's brain waves are completely different from those of a normal human. There's essentially no "cure" for psychopathy: it's somewhat effective to teach psychopaths that antisocial behavior isn't in their best interest, but there's really no way to change the way their brains work.

There's an official Psychopathy Checklist:
Factor1: Personality "Aggressive narcissism"
Glibness/superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Pathological lying
Cunning/manipulative
Lack of remorse or guilt
Shallow affect
Callous/lack of empathy
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

Factor2: Case history "Socially deviant lifestyle".
Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
Parasitic lifestyle
Poor behavioral control
Promiscuous sexual behavior
Lack of realistic long-term goals
Impulsivity
Irresponsibility
Juvenile delinquency
Early behavior problems
Revocation of conditional release

Traits not correlated with either factor
Many short-term marital relationships
Criminal versatility

[25toLife]

okay well i dont fall under that then. but i dont really know whats up and why im suddenly feeling/acknowlaging this hate. kind of odd, though i dont feel bad about it really. i do however feel bad that i said it all to my friend and freaked her out... i talk to her today about it and she said shes not mad or anyhing about it, but she thinks im more scary than sweet now. understandable really. but whatever, ill keep everyone thinking im sweet

[Wantabenormal]

I went through bouts of this when I was in my teens. I used to get a chuckle when someone got hurt and I had a few physical encounters with my mom and a schoolmate just because I had such a rage inside me that needed to get out. The fight I had with my schoolmate, I blacked out. I felt as though I was moving in slow motion while hitting her.

Good thing is I grew out of it; or at least I learned to control it so that I don't feel that way any longer. I have no idea why I felt such anger back then, maybe it was part of my mania starting to get a grip on me.

One thing I always told my kids while they were growing up is, if you want to yell at someone or you are so mad that you want to fight, go beat up a tree. You get your anger out and you don't have to worry about saying "sorry" in the morning.

[25toLife]

haha, i like your idea of beating up a tree but i dont really get physical, and i rarely get vocal with people. but i just kinda freaked out i guess. i still feel the same as when i actually said it to my friend, i just wouldnt say it again

[Wantabenormal]

Just don't hold it in. Get rid of the bad feelings in a safe way. I pray that you don't turn out like me. I got to the point that I would hold it all in, and now I don't say anything, even if I have a good reason to.

I have a very hard time expressing myself to friends, family and my spouse. I just nod my head, take it and stew for a while. But when the time comes that I have to express myself (like to my pdoc) I stutter and my mind goes blank.

I honestly believe that if I had an outlet earlier in life I would not be this way....

[tears_of_a_clown]

Originally Posted by 25toLife

okay well i dont fall under that then. but i dont really know whats up and why im suddenly feeling/acknowlaging this hate. kind of odd, though i dont feel bad about it really. i do however feel bad that i said it all to my friend and freaked her out... i talk to her today about it and she said shes not mad or anyhing about it, but she thinks im more scary than sweet now. understandable really. but whatever, ill keep everyone thinking im sweet

Anger can be a symptom of depression. Depending on how you manage it, acknowledging the anger and working on figuring out what it is about might help.

[25toLife]

i was unaware anger was a symptom of depression, never read that before. nice to know lol. i had something else i was gonna say, but i completely lost my train of thought... whatever, thanks for the replies guys!