so angry

My depression is unrelenting - it feels like it is attacking me all the time, everywhere and everything I do - and it is making me so ANGRY!

I rage and lash out at the drop of a hat - mostly inside my head - but on another chat site I let loose with a fury I didnt even know I could produce and in a public forum where I never would have let myself lose control like that - but the anger just oozes through me - poisoning me - am I really this person - I dont know who this person is anymore - I hate this person - how truly evil do you have to be to have so much anger, disgust, loathing flowing thru your person. And once your soul is poisoned with it, can you ever reclaim it?

I'm sorry you're angry and deprssed ((gelfling)).

I'm sorry for your pain
Sending hugs (if ok)

aaah Gelfling,,, some say that depression is repressed anger, or anger turned inward, at least that used to be the folksy wisdom, but i tend to believe in brain chemistry disorders. those can be fixed, but it's not quick or easy, unless you find the magic pill, and those, as you know often have nasty side effects. there are exercises to help with anger management, perhaps there is a group available to you? if not, then practice these skills when you are the LEAST enraged: I release my need for having things my way. I let the flood of anger be cleansed by my kidneys and liver, while i wait patiently, breathing and counting, focussing on something else. I cease expressing my anger as soon as i notice i am doing so, and begin my breathing exercise immediately. I console myself with the thought that this is a wound , that will heal, if i only care for it properly. (if you will write these things down on a card and carry them with you, so you remember then when you are in trouble,,, i have found that these are very helpful tools for mastering overwhelming emotions.) {{{{{{{{{Gelfling}}}}}}}}}}} Please, keep hanging on, working for recovery, and coming here to share with us. Gus

Thanks Gus - I've written it down - suffering the aftermaths of the anger today which is crushing self loathing and worsening of the depression following such outbursts - go for intake DBT group appt today - will prolly start in 2 weeks.....magic pill would be nice if only to lessen the effects of these emotions

hope u find a solution to alleviate all this pain. i feel for u

hope u feel better