[LittleForgetMeNot]

When I reach out for his hand, my cry for help, I say "Dad I want to talk to a counselor, a therapist.. anyone.. please help me find someone?"

He'll pull away, and respond with something like: "They're not going to help you, the only one who can help you is yourself.." Crushing me, putting all responsibility on me, before abandoning the topic.

So he leaves me there, sitting in my own misery, my progress shunned, my problems ignored. Simple things, people, they are easily dealt with, and he can help me.. but complex things, his own daughter, well.. he'll put on this mentality that if he doesn't acknowledge it, it's not there..

I can't move forward with him blocking my way, I need him there, beside me.

[Belle1979]

My mother has the same attitude.. "get over it" you're the only one who can help you.
In a way I am lucky as I am older enough (by many years) to be able to go to therapy etc.

Is there a school counseller you can talk to?

[notablackbarbie]

((((LittleForgetMeNot)))) I am so sorry you are so alone. I agree that your dad IS NOT HELPING AT ALL. Especially when u are reaching out and searching for help (not just burying/dissmissing their pain). Ummm...you could also try talking to someone at a nearby church? Many now have a qualified counselor on staff to talk to one-on-one and/or a childrens/youth ministry w/people availiable. Maybe they have resources too...or at least have some type of established safe "space" to just honestly let it all out. No man or woman is an island. Your dad's approach isnt fair. Again i am sorry you have to struggle with all of this

[Leed]

Hi dearheart ~ I'm so sorry that your Dad seems to want to ignore your problem. I know this hurts. But it just might be that he doesn't have the answer and he doesn't want to admit it.

How about talking to your counselor at school? I know that they are ready and able to talk to you ~ and they ARE qualified to help. I'm sure that if you needed outside help, he/she would see to it that you got that help. Would you be open to talking to them? They DO NOT tell anyone else what you talked about! Please talk to them, ok?

My parents were like your Dad. Neither one of my parents were "there" for us. I guess that's because their parents weren't there for THEM and so they didn't know how to be good parents.

I hope things work out for you sweetie. Please let us know how you're doing after you've talked to someone, ok? We do care. Hugs, Lee

[FINDAWGELF]

Yeah, my parents weren't there for us either. I figure it's the way they were raised; it was a pretty tough childhood for them. They made it tougher for us. Not to mention the extra things.... It's a long road when you face the world alone, so try not to. I'm sure there are programs you can enter without your fathers permission. If you're religious, there is always the religious leader or a school counselor like leed said. Truly hope things get better for you.

[LittleForgetMeNot]

My Dad did have a tough childhood, he was beaten by his step-dad and lived like that until he was my age until he was put into a group home, then he lived with foster parents but at age 17 he was kicked out and had to live on his own. He's never really been shown sympathy or anything.. or at least he was never shown how to express it.

My Dad, thinks, and has admitted to me, that he has high hopes for me. He wants me to do great, he wants me to be rich, that he works so hard for me to make sure I get it good. He said all his hopes and his dreams are on me.. that I'm the only good thing he has in his life, and that I am always put first before anyone. But, because he has these hopes, I believe, because he views me so highly and everything, he doesn't want me to have problems or else it would tarnish how he sees me. I'm sure no parent wants to come to terms with the fact that their child is suffering, but with him, it's kind of like, no, my angel CAN'T be a normal sensitive human being with problems and emotions.

I guess going to that school counselor is the next big thing to do.. But I'm not sure if I have the courage to do that alone.