Any advice? My world is falling apart b4 my eyes.

I was told in past relationships something is wrong with me I need to seek some type of professional help. I was also told depression is apart of life. However, this has been occurring since I was little, I mean Elementary little. I could give you a book, but I'll just sum it up. I could be in the best on mood and within a split second I find myself seating their quite not knowing what’s wrong with me. from that point I find myself either crying, lashing out at an individual (most of time for no reason), I don’t enjoy doing things I loved the most anymore, I have sleepless nights (everynight); my mind show and tell me things that people say do not exist. I have issues with letting go, instead I dwell on it wondering, trying to figure out why has it happen.

Like I said I have had constant mood changes since I was little, once I reached my adult years I starting seeing that this was starting to take over my everyday life. In August 09 I had an episode which landing me in the hospital, I was then told by a doctor I may be bipolar. I have lost my fiancé over years because of this, and the person I'm with now tells me that I scare them. I went to a family member long ago telling them I think I have a mood disorder, they stated "you do you were just never taken to see someone about it". Now I am at the point where someone is bound to get hurt really bad because of my thoughts, feelings,and emotions.

So my question to you do you think it’s too late for me?

I believe it is never too late for a person!
have you thought about trying to talk to a therapist?

Yes I have, just dont have the funds at this time to do so.

Insurance?
Maybe find a therapist that works on a sliding scale?

Can I ask you something? Just by reading my thread what do you think? Honestly

Well, you know I can't diagnose you.
But in my opinion, it sounds like you do have some sort of a mood disorder.
Although... now that I think about it, you said this has been going on since you were young,
and I am not sure if mood disorders can develop in people at such a young age.
I highly recommend you talk to a professional.

Your county health department should have mental health services and if you feel you or someone you know is in immediate danger due to your mental state you can be seen tonight at a hospital within your county. You can google it up. If you do not have the funds to pay for the services you do not have to pay for emergency treatment. I am not that familiar with exactly how it works but I did call for my sister one time and I googled up mental health services then put in her county and state and the information came up. They told me if she might hurt herself or someone else they would see her immediately at the hospital and she would not have to pay anything. Good luck I hope this helps. You asked if it is too late and I am living proof that as long as there is a breath in you it is not too late. At one time in my life I scared people too. Now with proper medication,time and therapy I am not that person anymore.

Thank You for being honest, I will do just that.

You're welcome.

Thank you sadface for letting me know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and the information provided by you and miracle I will greatly take into consideration. Thank you both again

You are very welcome sweetie. You can overcome all of this. You making the decision to come on here and express what you are deaing with shows you want to change and that is what it takes wanting your life to be different and making decisions one after another toward that goal!