[forpetessake]

I have to get this off of my chest.

I am 44 years old. I still fricking deliver pizzas on the weekend. I have a fulltime job that is going nowhere in a hurry.

I do have something good though, my wife and kids. Yet no one gives a crap about the fact that we are going to freeze this winter because we can't afford to pay our 500.00 gas bill.

I started playing drums when I was 12. Retired at 20. Started again at age 42 and this Saturday is the biggest day of my music career when I open for a Grammy Award winning artist. I even told my work, and invited everyone. No one responded. No one cares.

I have a piece of **** car that is literally on it's last legs. I have to drive 45 miles one way to work. 90 miles a day, plus the weekend delivery crap, and when that car dies I wont be able to get another, because I am currently in a Chapter 13 bankruptcy and no one will finance with an active BK going on. And when the car dies, I can't work. The banks and the lawyer and the judge dont care.

As it is money is so tight right that I will probably feed my family toast for supper tonight.

Nobody cares.

I know. It's my fault, I made the mistakes. Yet everyone has to suffer because of me.

And when something good comes along that could lift me up and my family, nobody cares.

I am tired of trying. I am tired of worrying. I am tired of fighting. And if nobody else cares, then i am tired of caring too.

[(JD)]

((((pete))))
I care. You know you did say something well: you have your wife and family. I've been poor, rich, poorer, okay, and well off. The only thing that really mattered was family.

I know things seem horrible. You are worrying about stuff that hasn't occurred(like the car) and worrying doesn't change a thing but make us depressed.

I am glad your car is running now, and that you do have 2 jobs. Once the banjruptcy is over, you will be able to restructure your finances and maybe if you can afford it then, a different car.

Did you do the gig yet or is that this Sat??? That sounds really cool and enjoyable.

Hang tough man .

Sent from my dying iPhone!

[forpetessake]

Gig is this Sat.

[crzyladee]

I don't know you, but I do care. I've had to do without heat in the winter and cool in the summer and it sucks. What sucks worse is when your family has to suffer...so I'm feelin' ya man! Like JD said, family. Family is forever, the bankruptcy as much of a nuisance as it is and a thorn in your side...will be gone eventually. Keep holding on. For your wife. For your babies. Good luck with your gig!

[sundog]

We care ((((((Pete))))) That's what this site is for so I'm really glad you're here I'm so sorry about the financial hardships you are facing right now, but happy to hear you have a good family. And I'm sure they can see that you're doing everything you can to provide for them. I do agree it's hurtful that they didn't express more enthusiasm about your upcoming gig though. Can you maybe just say honestly to your wife that you were a bit hurt by her lack of interest? The gig sounds really exciting and I hope it goes well!!!!

[lynn09]

Hello, forpetessake! Sorry you're in such a rough financial situation right now - I've been through a lot of the same since becoming disabled in 1999 - bankruptcy, no car now, etc. At least I only had to look out for myself and my dog and cat, so I don't pretend to fully appreciate the stress you are experiencing trying to look out for your wife and children, too.

However, because of your situation, you probably qualify for any number of state and federal social service assistance programs, as well as assistance from non-profit charitable organizations - especially since you have children. I did a Google search on Illinois social services, and here are just a few of the links that came up:

DHS Illinois Department of Human Services
www.dhs.state.il.us/

Illinois Web Benefits Online Application System
fspp.dhs.state.il.us/register/wb/wbHomePre.do/

Illinois Department of Children and Family Services
www.state.il.us/dcfs/l_links.shtml

Lutherna Social Services of Illinois Social Services agency serving people of all faiths and all walks of life including children, families and adults
www.lssi.org/

Southern Illinois Regional Social Services, Inc.
www.sirss.org/

Catholic Social Services of Southern Illinois
www.cssil.org/

You should also contact the United Way, Salvation Army, Goodwill, St. Vincent De Paul Society, Lighthouse, and whatever other charitable orgs are in your area. Talk to your utility providers, too - most of them have programs in place to assist customers with the basics (heat, electric, phone, water, food, etc.) during such times. Try not to get discouraged if some are unable to help - it's late in the year, and many non-profit orgs are low on budgeted funds; however, they can help by giving you further contact information to get assistance.

I'm glad you have this gig coming up - go, play, enjoy it, let it feed your soul. It may be that this experience is intended just for you and the presence of others you invited would only distract you from getting out of it all you can. It's a gift to you, and only you can fully appreciate it's value.

You cannot control how other people feel and behave in any situation, only how you choose to respond to it and them. So, go show them all how it's done (especially your children) - how to face hardships with courage, dignity. and grace, and how to humbly accept and appreciate the little gifts offered to us even in the midst of the worst storm.

Take good care, and I'm hoping all the best for you and your family. lynn09

[brittfly]

i am so sorry u r going through such hard times. Hold on!!! i realllly hope things turn around for u. Will be thinking of u!! I know that is not much but i know what it is like to be cold and hungry and with a family it must be so hard. just hold on and keep fighting the fight as best u can!!!

[(JD)]

Saturday ! Cool. Will someone video it so you can put it up on youtube for us all to experience? What are you playing, how many etc. What kind of an audience will it be? Sorry, I'm curious!

[Rohag]

Two years after returning to music you open for a Grammy Award winning artist. THAT is an achievement! Congratulations (and thank you for posting)!

[lonegael]

Forpetesake, too bad you seem to work with a bunch o yahoos. If someone at work had tld me they were opening for a grammy award winner, you'd bet I'd be down there Wow!!!!
Lynn was right, don't start worrying in advance about what hasn'thappened yet. You might start grooming a friend who is good at car repair (I am a bit of a pragmatist),
when are you going to be through with the BK? My advice isn't going to help much with this winter, but the hubby and me being in tight straits before, here are some things we did. Do you have a yard? Come spring, after the ground thaws up, dig up a good patch and set potatoes. I AM NOT KIDDING. They take care of themselves and
give a lot for the amount you put in. Just water if there's no rain. Ones from the stores, or ones going to seed from the neighbors, you name it, they grow anyway, mighta as well get something from it. Can your wife bake bread from scratch? that will actually save you money. These are just some of the stuff we did when were were trying to get over a time when we had no income. Good luck , and go get them at the concert! HUGGGGGSSSSS PS ; I care, FPS. I care.