Depression & Loss

Hi, I'm reaching out today, as I'm not sure who to talk to. I've had depression for over 6 years now, but had thought I was finally getting better last year & was released from counseling. I got pregnant earlier this year, only to lose my baby in the end of August right after I found out we were having a girl. My depression has returned times 10. I can barely stand to drag myself out of bed in the morning, can only think about how I lost my baby girl. Despite trying every month since, my husband & I have not been able to concieve again & each month it's like experiencing my loss all over again. All I want it to have my baby back, I miss her so, thinki about what she would have been like. My husband is very insensitive, and whenever I mention anything to him yells at me "just forget about it already" & hasn't ever seemed to have cared about our daughter's death. I keep having nightmares about the surgery I had to have to remove her from me. Getting through the days here at work has become nearly impossible for me not to cry.

I'm sorry you lost your daughter. You should speak to a psychiatrist, you may need meds to get you through and maybe see a therapist on a regular basis. I hope things get better for you.

Hello, ashes10. You are grieving. You likely would benefit from professional help. Sorry about what happened.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl....such a deep loss. How far long were you? Even when women miscarry, they still go through hormonal changes, so this could be a contributing factor to the loss itself.

It must be very hard not feeling your husband relates. I think you need someone to share this pain with who understands. Sometimes men are uncomfortable dealing with sadness and grief but instead it comes out as anger or denial. You need to grieve and that's okay. Visit your doctor and ask for a blood test to check your hormone levels.

Give yourself some time to recover and deal with the sadness. It's hard to conceive when the body is stressed, so try not to worry about concieving for a couple months -you can still try though. I hope things get better for you.

Thanks everyone. I did make an appointment to see my old therapist next Wednesday. I actually already had my hormone levels tested a few times as my doctor had to measure the level of hcg (pregnancy hormones) in my blood until they hit 0, that was almost 2 months ago. So apparently my hormones should be normal now. I was about 13 weeks when I lost her.
I understand that my husband is bad with expressing his feelings, which is why he gets angry with me when I bring up being sad, but him refusing to acknowledge that she even existed & my loss, makes me feel even worse.

I know from experience that a woman's sadness can be very difficult for men. There are millions and millions of women who have experienced what you're going through and probably every one of them would understand and empathize with your feelings. Your feelings are normal some men just have trouble coping with them. Your husband proabably thinks not talking about it will help to make you better. Sounds like that's what he really wants - for you to feel better. You will. Most women can't forget or totally 'get over' the loss of a child but most do go on to have other children and are good mothers and wives. Your husband needs to know that. It sounds like he's scared. Try to go easy on yourself and your husband. Ask him to do the same for you.