[Mustkeepjob32]

Hello,

Ok, Please don't be overly alarmed. Tonight I'm in my motel room (did not drink tonight or last night) but because of complete solitude and feeling like my family doesn't understand me or anything, in a moment of insanity, I took pills. I took six Depakote ER 500mg and 4 norvasc 5mg. I hadn't taken either one of those pills yet today. I tried to vomit afterward realizing what I did but little came up.
My partner was upset and he called the police to come check on me. I told him I would never forgive him if he did that because I didn't want to go to the hospital where I worked or be embarrassed in front of the motel staff.
The police talked to me and and talked to my partner. While they know I took too many pills, they can't make me go unless I want to go. I almost said yes that I would go to the psych facility but then found out that because i have high BP, I would first have to go to the facility where I work and I definitely don't want to do that.
i just want to go home and tomorrow morning I will be able to go home but I want to know i will make it through the night. Can anyone tell me if I took so much that my life is in danger? I didn't take that much only because I didn't have that much. I just want to make it to the morning and then go home. Thanks.

Z

[krisakira]

i don't personally believe your life is in danger. but i am no doctor. I am an experienced pill overdoser, unfortunately. I've never overdosed on either of those, but do know that a serious overdose requires more pills than that. if you are seriously in question about your health, please see a doctor or call poison control. if you have any serious side effects like heart palpitations or high pulse (over 120 beats per minute) for a long period of time, you should consult a physician. to take your blood pressure, go to walmart and use their blood pressure machine. if the top number is over 180, consult a physician. just take care of yourself ok? rest and drink lots of water. that will help flush the medicine out of your system.

[krisakira]

also, if you have a therapist, tell them what you did. tell them also that you are willing to do what it takes to get better so it doesnt happen again, and be very cooperative with him or her. that way they wont send you to a psych ward.

[sugahorse1]

I'm sorry you felt so low, that you felt you needed to do this. I too don't think you've taken enough pills to put your life in danger, but just be vigilant around the side-effects. You will probably feel terrible for the next day or 2.

I'd also recommend going to speak to your T and try understand why you did, what you were hoping to achieve, and what is underlying to make you feel this way.

Hugs - things will get better. Take it easy on yourself.

[turquoisesea]

Ok this reply is a little late... please let us know how you're doing. Have you considered an urgent care center? Sometimes even calling them on the phone may help and it wouldn't be where you work.

I also suggest strongly that you get a therapist if you don't have one, it sounds like you're really suffering.

Please let us know you're ok

[nicoleb2]

How are you doing now??

Here (minnesota) , if you've OD'd or are threatening suicide, the police can take you to the hospital regardless of if you want to go or not...

[Mustkeepjob32]

Hello all,

I'm leaving the motel now and taking the drive back home. I don't know if I still have a job...I don't know much, but I did make it through the night. I stayed up for a while and then I finally went to sleep as I was so tired from the crying, throwing up, and probably Depakote side effects. I hope my liver isn't shot.
Thanks for your support and I think it's really low for me to have done that talk about my sins on here with you all. However, I am appreciative because you all made me feel better that I wasn't going to die, even though I wanted to die when I took them.
While I think about death a lot and way the pros and cons, this action I took was not a planned out one; it was out of desparation right after I hung up with my Mom. She often just doesn't understand where I'm coming from and because I've always been close to her, I feel that if she is mad at me, then I there is no point and that's what happens. I know she just has no idea how to help me even after all these years, just like I don't how to help me.
She's offered me to come home to her house back in WA state so many times and I've never said yes because I don't want to leave my partner who couldn't come with me. And now I'm considering it but I can't I don't think because I have a DUI hearing down here in January. It was my first DUI, no previous criminal record, but I feel like my life is over. I hired an attorney weeks ago to help me but I'm leary of him plus I haven't been able to give him a penny because I have nothing to give him due to not working. I'm a mess.
Anyway, thanks for your concern and I'm so glad to have found this website.

Z

[sugahorse1]

Glad we could be of help. Please find a social worker or T to help you. It sounds like there are a lot issues you need to work on, and when you make peace with them, your depression can live and your life can carry on.

Please look after yourself.

[Mustkeepjob32]

Thanks sugahorse...you're right I do need a T even more than meds. Actually both. I like the idea of CBT, don't know if it work for me though.

Z

[sugahorse1]

I wouldn't be too hung up about CBT - a good T will quickly ascertain what form of therapy is most beneficial.

[Mustkeepjob32]

my medical insurance will cover pdoc visits at least for a while and I think the EAP will cover T visits...let's hope, I just need to be more proactive!

Z

[Mustkeepjob32]

Well I do still have a job. I know my parents are gonna flip when they hear that. They always tell me they are shocked when I still have a job, like they are hoping for me to lose it and suffer. If I am honest with myself, I will say that I don't think they want me to suffer, they just are not very careful with their words or what they say to me.

I'm scared myself, will I be able to handle it? I tell myself there is no option; I have to make it. Of course I had to make it before. I just need to follow through and call my insurance company and make appointments with a pdoc here in the States and get a T; I can't go without that for sure.

Z

[Chaddiwicker]

Originally Posted by Mustkeepjob32

Well I do still have a job. I know my parents are gonna flip when they hear that. They always tell me they are shocked when I still have a job, like they are hoping for me to lose it and suffer. If I am honest with myself, I will say that I don't think they want me to suffer, they just are not very careful with their words or what they say to me.

I'm scared myself, will I be able to handle it? I tell myself there is no option; I have to make it. Of course I had to make it before. I just need to follow through and call my insurance company and make appointments with a pdoc here in the States and get a T; I can't go without that for sure.

Z

Sounds like you've had a rough couple of days. Take care and I hope that a therapist gives you what you need.

[Mustkeepjob32]

Thanks Chad, I hope I get some things dealt with. I have a pdoc here in Mexico but I haven't seen her in a while and the meds she prescribed me like Pristiq and others are so expensive without insurance and now I have insurance I need to get a pdoc in the US to write me a prescription for meds as Mexican prescriptions are not recognized in the US.

Z

[sugahorse1]

I hope this gets sorted ASAP Z!

You have been through a lot, but have shown great tenacity. Even if it means taking a few days off work to get to the US and get your meds, then please do it. Your health comes first...