The Blue Funk

Yes I am sure it is in a lot of ways a standard run of the mill (fo me anyway) depression but I rather like the sound of "blue funk". It doesn't sound as bad or deperate.

I have actually been fighting it for a while with some success. I have managed to get past the ultra sucidal stage and then hit a crazy (all be it pharmecutically indiced) manic stage then his a completely apathetic stage. Now I am in a regular ordinary depression.

I have been trying to write more in order to pin down what sends me into depression but the writing is rather pointless since I know exactly what is resonsibl for all of it right now. Well not all of it but a great deal of it. Maybe 85% of it. I cannot fix the 85% so I have to try and fix the other 15% but I'm not sure how.

I am in the funk and I know it so I am tryin to keep myself from totally isolating. One thing that i am really good at is isolating. I am maintaining regular contact (mostly via txt) with different people. I made it to school today and will go to work (work is usually the last thing to suffer when I get into a funk). I have been thinking about going somewhereeven for a day trip but no sure where or when since I have work school and kid schedules to negotiate.

Hello, Dark_Dreams. You are a battler. Is professional help an option?

Be well.

Professional help is an option and one of which I have already taken advantage. I have a therapist right now that I have had off and on for a while. Not sure she is the perfect one for me but she is the one I have, has proven to stick with me even when I have not stuck with her, can occasionally been challenging (though not as much as I think she should) and one which I am about 95% sure I can trust.

It's a long process. I know I just need to keep fighting thought sometimes it is just so exhausting. One step at a time