well, would you look at that?!

i do not know what's with this week... or i should say this month... what do you do when you don't love your job, and you are "expected" to love it, and be good at it? you can't leave the job because it's family owned, and you don't have other means of living except for that.. which i don't consider living at all, just some kind of allowance... i was asked, where was my head and where did my heart lie... and i wanted to say, AWAY FROM YOU... i know part of it is my fault for i am not being good at it and i do tend to forget stuff and i don't actually care.. and now, i am being "ganged up" by the "bosses" (which are my parents). Mom was threatening me if she should take away the job from me, and be 'jobless'.. haha.. i told my mom no, just to 'show' her that i actually care!!! i know, my life's pathetic... and am too chicken to do some actions... kinda hard being the only girl, and the youngest... dang it... i want an escape!!! i want to be gone away from them and never come back... i NEED courage, and i NEED to toughen up my heart... i NEED to be away!!! for me to grow!! waaaaahhhhhhhhh.... dang this life... *sorry*

i need to be better, i need to "get better" with this 'job'... i am freaking out right now... waaaahhhhhh

I guess I'm a noob but why can't you leave your job? I get it's family owned, but is there nothing else you could do like get a different job or go to school?
People do jobs that they hate every day. I do a job I hate every day. But I have a responsibility to myself and the ones I care about. I need the money. But I'm also going to school to do a job I actually want to do.
I would do the job, get through it, and focus on the things that do make you happy.

-- thanks Ginger... it's just the culture here... and my parents won't allow me in anyway... it's hard to explain..

Your mom threatened to take your job away. That sounds like you could leave it if you chose to.

What kind of changes would make the job something you like? Can you talk to your parents about what you don't like about the job so you can work together to make it something you love?

--- what i don't like about the job is the fact that i was 'designated' with it, something like an obligation cause i am part of the family... i do not want this job, and i do not know how to make it something that i love... what i love is taking care of people, like nursing and such... i thought i liked teaching, but i lost passion for it, so i dropped college... but i like nursing... that's what i really love, or caregiving... i just hope i can do it.. do this job and study the course too... even though my parents don't like the thought of me taking care of other people... *sigh* wish me luck y'all....