[Dark_Dreams]

It amazes me how making a mistake can have far reaching consequences. And they then feed the depression that is already deep enough.

I know I made a mistake and made a bunch of people uncomfortable and I have been trying to repair the damage that has been done but in some ways those efforts are being thwarted.

I know things will never go back to the way they were before but I hate the fact that my actions have made so many people so incredibly uncomfortable and have put people in the middle. Even things that I didn't do are making people uncomfortable and I am in the middle.

I don't know whether to be angry or just accept events as they are and take what is due to me.

[racee]

things you may already know but hearing from a different persons point of view...what's done is done, you can't change that...and as long as you made the effert to apologize or show with your actions that "the mistake" you did was a temporary fault and you are moving forward in a positive direction to never mimick that "mistake" again...than how everyone is reacting is their own sh&t they need to deal with.

Dn't be angry but don't just accept things a firm hand ..hey look this is what i did i can't go back , and this is what i'm doing so it never happens again, you can either accept it or not (in so many words) but i am moving on and i hope you do as well. say your emotions are vvalidated to (meaning you have every right to your own feeling) but people need to learn to quit dwelling, and they dwell on the negative oh too well.

I don't know what happened but i have made huge horrid horrible mistakes and i have had some very wise counsel on how to go about talking to people that i harmed intentionally or unintentionally (sp) you need to know never let anyone hold guilt over you...as long as you are aware of what you have done, made your apologies for what you have done and are moving on in the right direction than you are in the right, if whoever wants to stay in the past and be negative about it, well that's their problem not yours. there ain't no time machine
it's time to move on life is too short.
So don't get angry but unfortunately we do have to live with the consequences of our actions, but we don't have to have them be held over our head for the rest of our lives!

[Dark_Dreams]

I know there is no time machine. Hell if there were I would be so tempted to use it many many times.

I don't know if it is a matter of people living in the past or just protecting themselves from being hurt again. I think part of the reason that it is bothering me so much particularly right now is that as a result of these mistakes I have lost my best friend and as such feel pretty much alone. In addition, another very important friend of mine usually has no time for me so we have the occasional txt chat but that is rare.

At the moment, there are two friends that I value more than any other and they are both pretty much absent which makes me move in the abandonment direction. Of course the abandonment makes the depression worse. And of course not having the contact or the real life person to talk to...can't even come up with the right word.

This is of course something worth exploring with my T if I can actually muster the strength to talk about it

You are very hard on yourself, Dark_Dreams.

[FeelingHopeful]

Aww Dark Dreams, I feel for you, Just because you made a mistake your not a bad person, Everyone makes mistakes, the fact that your owning up to it says alot about you and if people cant move on from the past its not your fault, everyone deserves a second chance, keep your head up, your doing the right thing now and thats important, Sending you a big hug, , also wanted to let you know , me and a close friend had a bad fight a few yrs ago and we both hurt each each other and said terrible things and its in the past, we are mending our relationship and i know he feels bad for stuff he did/said, but he is a wonderful person and thats what i remember, not that you forget but you forgive and move ast that to make the relationships with the peole you love stronger,

[Dark_Dreams]

Yes I am very hard on myself. Undoubtedly harder on myself than on any other person in the world. This is something that I have been trying to correct but will take some time to retrain.

Mobing on is something I have to do regardless of what this whole situations does. It's not like I cna go backwards or anything. I ma trying to look forward and dealing with what must be done and will deal with everything else as it comes. If the situation changses then cool. If not well at least I am not just stuck in the same place