[jollybutdepressed]

I'm not sure if I should continue on writing my feelings here, cause I feel that my feelings are not as important as others' here. Writing how I feel here makes me feel good and not so good at the same time. I feel good cause I get to release it, and not so good because I feel that it's repetitive and people are sick of hearing / readoing my problems. Don't you just hate it when you sleep in a bad mood, and it carries over in the morning? How would you like waking up in the morning, feeling all down and depressed? I'm sure others have felt like that, and I know what you guys are feeling. I just don't feel that I am deserving. Like a status I put in Yahoo just recently, "worthless, undeserving, forgettable, useless...in other words I am NOTHING".. it's exactly how I feel. Recently, my dad helped a cousin of mine get into the bank that he works at. She's smart, and she does good on her job, I am glad that my dad helped her, she's like a sister to me. I just didn't like the feeling that my dad is so proud of her, and he treats me like some stupid person always making mistakes. Hate it when he makes me feel that I'm stupid. Dagnammit, when can I be my old self again? Happy, joyful.. that's why my name's so perfect... " jollybutdepressed " .. ain't it grand. I'm not sure if I should even be sharing this thought, but what the hell, I'll still post this and it's up to you what you think.. I just need an outlet for me to release this stress and this feeling. I get tired of keeping it in.... I know I sound repetitive and seems that I don't do anything to change my life. Sorry for that. That's just how I am, and I am trying to change for the better... I NEED to grow!! And I can't do that here at home... FREEDOM instead of captivity.

[Willow19]

Hi im depressed too and i think its always gonna be repeatitive until someone gives you the perfect advice that changes the way you think and handle things or something happens in your life. I think its best you keep writing because even though im new here its good to always feel like im not alone

[Mustkeepjob32]

jollybutdepressed,

Vent away and never feel like you're being repetitive. This website is for people to talk about everything in their lives that is bothering them, or at least preventing them from living the life they wish they could have. While the success stories are great on this site, the primary focus of this site is not a to be a place for people to talk about how great their lives are; Rather, it's a support group essentially.
About your Dad helping your cousin, I've often found that to us, it often seems that our parents can treat other people better than their own children. It's definitely not always the truth, but we are very sensitive to our parents' actions. I hope what I'm saying makes sense.

Z

[jollybutdepressed]

Originally Posted by Willow19

Hi im depressed too and i think its always gonna be repeatitive until someone gives you the perfect advice that changes the way you think and handle things or something happens in your life. I think its best you keep writing because even though im new here its good to always feel like im not alone

-- thanks Willow, you're not alone here though.. welcome to PC by the way... hope you'll like it here.. I did and still do thanks again

[jollybutdepressed]

Originally Posted by Mustkeepjob32

jollybutdepressed,

Vent away and never feel like you're being repetitive. This website is for people to talk about everything in their lives that is bothering them, or at least preventing them from living the life they wish they could have. While the success stories are great on this site, the primary focus of this site is not a to be a place for people to talk about how great their lives are; Rather, it's a support group essentially.
About your Dad helping your cousin, I've often found that to us, it often seems that our parents can treat other people better than their own children. It's definitely not always the truth, but we are very sensitive to our parents' actions. I hope what I'm saying makes sense.

Z

-- thanks mustkeep... it's just hard to put up a face that i don't get affected, cause they actually do not know that I know how he feels.. if i make sense

[Mustkeepjob32]

I see what you're saying. I learned though, well I'm trying to learn that I will never know exactly how someone is feeling even if they spent 24/7 trying to tell me. I know that because I could never make someone totally understand me; it's just not possible. We are all our own beings.

[kikki27]

Originally Posted by jollybutdepressed

I'm not sure if I should continue on writing my feelings here, cause I feel that my feelings are not as important as others' here. Writing how I feel here makes me feel good and not so good at the same time. I feel good cause I get to release it, and not so good because I feel that it's repetitive and people are sick of hearing / readoing my problems. Don't you just hate it when you sleep in a bad mood, and it carries over in the morning? How would you like waking up in the morning, feeling all down and depressed? I'm sure others have felt like that, and I know what you guys are feeling. I just don't feel that I am deserving. Like a status I put in Yahoo just recently, "worthless, undeserving, forgettable, useless...in other words I am NOTHING".. it's exactly how I feel. Recently, my dad helped a cousin of mine get into the bank that he works at. She's smart, and she does good on her job, I am glad that my dad helped her, she's like a sister to me. I just didn't like the feeling that my dad is so proud of her, and he treats me like some stupid person always making mistakes. Hate it when he makes me feel that I'm stupid. Dagnammit, when can I be my old self again? Happy, joyful.. that's why my name's so perfect... " jollybutdepressed " .. ain't it grand. I'm not sure if I should even be sharing this thought, but what the hell, I'll still post this and it's up to you what you think.. I just need an outlet for me to release this stress and this feeling. I get tired of keeping it in.... I know I sound repetitive and seems that I don't do anything to change my life. Sorry for that. That's just how I am, and I am trying to change for the better... I NEED to grow!! And I can't do that here at home... FREEDOM instead of captivity.

Just keep on venting because Its good to release that stuff you are feeling .No dont think nobody is tired of the post cause this is the reason for this site to vent and get advice and support.Huggs

[Lilleth]

The whole point of this place is that you vent so keep on writing its one way to get it off your chest. I come and read sometimes it makes me more sad sometimes it make me feel that I am not alone. Sometimes it makes me more sad reading what others are going through as it comfirms that its never ending, but thats the whole point its somewhere to vent and see how others deal with this blot in our minds/heart and soul.

[jollybutdepressed]

thanks Lilleth, I guess it's just how I grew up.. when I first came to PC, and wrote down my introduction, it felt that my problems are nothing compared to the others, and I felt that I should just keep it to myself cause the others need it more than I do. Guess, that's how I have been for so long, always forgetting about myself and always thinking of someone else. But thanks everyone for letting me vent and for not thinking that my feelings or problems are repetitive... Thank you.. Greatly appreciated..