[pinkestpink]

I just need a place to get it all out.....
i feel so sad... i am afraid of falling back into that black hole of depression that swallows me and no matter what i do, i can't get out...
I just hate being okay and feeling good, when it never lasts. It comes and then suddenly it is ripped away and i am thrown back down.
I think i would just rather always just feel numb... no emotion because then i would never have to have anything taken away.
i have just felt like crying alot lately... i hate crying... i avoid it at all costs... it makes me feel so weak...
I feel like my depression is my life... that when i meet someone, i will not be accepted because that is something i deal with. they will turn and run. i think this keeps me from wanting a relationship... i think this is all surfacing because i just got into one, the first one in years. if he finds out... i just see him leaving... it makes me so guarded and i feel like i can't tell the truth because something might come up and then i would have to let him know.
is there any way to come to terms with mental illness? is there a way to accept it and make it a part of your life? I feel as if i am hiding the real me away and that if it comes out i will be sorry because all the people that love or care about me will turn away..

sorry for this scattered posting..

[Emotionally Dead]

I am glad you shared this.. I am feeling the same way right now, I am even crying... It's been a really tough week for me and it's like things just keep getting worse and worse.. I really know the feeling of feeling good and having it taken right away and it really sucks.. I know how you feel and I am in the same vote as you and am here for you if you need to talk.

[Rohag]

Hello, Pinkestpink!

Originally Posted by pinkestpink

I just need a place to get it all out.....

This is a good place for that.

Originally Posted by pinkestpink

is there any way to come to terms with mental illness? is there a way to accept it and make it a part of your life?

For a long time I fought mental illness hoping I could overcome it, hoping it was a passing phase of life -- as it is for many who suffer a depressive episode. In time, however, I reluctantly began to accept that, in my case, depression would be a long-term illness.

I doubt there's a single path to acceptance. Whether your mental illness is temporary or long-term, you might treat it as any other illness requiring adjustments to your routine. There's no getting around appointments, therapy, meds, "me time," and "down time." They will become part of your "normal" or your rhythm of life. Hopefully, in time, the illness will remit or disappear entirely.

Regardless of how you choose to handle mental illness, or find yourself handling it, I wish you success and a minimum of bother.