[mildred_the_cat]

for the last few weeks i've been kind of plummeting downwards. I've started having mad anxiety symptoms again (throwing up every morning before work now, and no, i'm not pregnant). Work is horrible - i live in fear of physical attacks and am constantly verbally abused (teacher in school on huge council estate) The management don't seem to want to know when i tell them about the incidents. Practically every member of staff is depressed or exhibiting anxiety symptoms.

My mum and dad both died (i even had to decide whether my mum should live or die) and i'm totally alone at 23, and i don't seem to have the space or energy to do the whole boring exhausting grieving process. My therapist tells me i need to face the pain, but to be honest it takes me all my time to just get through each day. I'm worried i'm going mental - even thought the doctor says i'm not.

I absolutely hate my life and i don't see how it can get any better.
sorry for moaning - i'm in a "poor little me" mood.

mildred

[PlanningtoLive]

{{{{{{{{{Mildred}}}}}}}}}}}}}} that's what we're here for.

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed - it is certainly understandable and at such a young age too. My T wants me to face things also, but just getting through each hour of the day exhausts me too.

Try to stay focused on how you feel - not what others are. It will only depress you more. Do something you enjoy doing - something just for yourself. Don't let the thoughts and moods take over........you are sane, just as I call it, "chaotic" at the moment.

Mary Alice

[heidu]

I agree alot with Mary Alice. Your aren't going mental. You have suffered a great loss and are dealing with alot of stress at work. It's no wonder you are feeling badly.
It's tough to work thru stuff. It's hard to grieve but it's so important. The only way to move on with your life is to deal with what has happened and what is happening. After losing both your parents I am sure you are hurting very badly.

I hope you find a safe place and someone to comfort you as you go thru the grieving process. You're so young and you have so much ahead of you. Lots of life's struggles but lots and lots of good things too. It can get better. It will get better.

Moan all you want....I am having a day like that too :O)
Hugs,
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

[nowheretorun]

(((((((((( mildred ))))))))))

Hope it's okay if I gave you a hug, thought you could use one.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

[bevers]

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} Mildred,
it looked like you need as many as you can get, I have to agree
with everyone else who posted,,, your not mental, I know its tough
but just keep talking about it.
Grieving for the death of a parent is something that doesn't always happen right away, I know when my Mom passed away that I didn't really let it hit me and really grieve till 3 months later. Keep going to therapy, keep in contact in your friends. here and at home.. My Therapist keeps telling me write it down, get a
journal and write it down, it helps to get it on paper and expel it from
hurting you....
I feel so bad for your loss at such a young age....

Take Care

Bevers

[ltlredvett]

Mildred...

I know how you feel as my parents were divorced and I lost my Mom when I was just 22. My Dad really wasn't in my life so I was, like you, on my own. I mean I know that you are an adult when you are 22 or 23, but it would be nice to know that Mom or Dad were there if you need them.

I was talking to my Sister last night as our dear aunt is in the hospital and it looks as though she won't make it. We were talking about possible funeral arrangements and were thinking back to our Mom. I realized that at 22 I made all the arrangements, picked out the casket, cleaned out the home that I grew up in. It sucks. I share this with you to let you know that you can get through it. I sure did. It wasn't until much later that I really went deep end.... lol.

You are young and have your whole life in front of you. And, from chatting with you on line you are a blast and I am confident that you have the inner strength to pull through this.

Just think.... KW....

[geekgirl]

Mildred...

(((((((hugs))))))

I went through a lot of the same reactions in my life the past few years. A lot has happened... many losses and changes. I couldn't eat, couldn't hold down food, the anxiety was horrible, and the stress was incredible. Many things happened and ended up in a very nasty divorce.

I'm sorry that you've lost your parents, and you are the same age as my oldest daughter. My heart goes out to you.

It takes a lot of time to get over your losses, and each day that you do will take you a small step closer to being better. You're not going mental!

Have you got a friend or two to spend some time with?