[MissingMyOldSelf]

So, it's been a rough few days for me. I had Friday and yesterday off of work, so that part was nice. But the holidays were just so stressful for me(due to hubby being unemployed, me paying all bills, and not many people got gifts), and pretty emotional, since my parents are both deceased, and all I have is my husband and brother.

Two weeks ago, my hubby and I went for a walk in the snow at a local park, and I really messed up my right knee, which got messed up two years ago, but was doing good from all the exercise and therapy I did on it. So, my right knee is weak, painful, and pops all the time. I've been told just to use the heating pad and ibuprofen. If it's not better in a month, go back to the dr.

So, I just finished lunch here at work about an hour ago, and all I want to do is cry. Not really sure why, unless the stress of my own personal feelings about being upset about not everyone getting a Christmas gift, the stress about my pained knee, stress about hubby not finding a job and not really trying either..... I just don't know. I wasn't like this last week and I've done really well on my medicine for the last 3 months.

I literally am about 10 seconds away from a full fledge meltdown. I feel like I want to just crawl into bed, hug a pillow, cry, sleep, and occasionally get up and eat something and use the bathroom. That's it. I haven't even hardly answered any messages (email, text, phone, etc) from friends asking me how my weekend was....

This just isn't me. And I don't know what to do, other than see if this will pass soon... which, I hope it does.

[Rohag]

Hello, MissingMyOldSelf!

• holidays
• husband unemployed & un/demotivated
• solo paying all the bills
• disappointment of restricted gifting
• both parents deceased
• sense of isolation
• damaged & painful knee

Just my opinion, but you deserve a meltdown. I hope you can schedule one for a convenient time, and I hope it's a restorative meltdown.

[MissingMyOldSelf]

Thanks Rohag I really appreciate it. I just wish I could schedule this meltdown for hopefully Saturday to Sunday.... I have a New Years Party to go to on Friday, and I don't want to be sad for it. Being around my friends helps so much, and that's why I try to always be with them. The husband doesn't really help me, since he thinks that I'm not really needing to be on my medicine. He thinks that I'm just stressed from work.

I think I really just need a small vacation alone. But I know he won't let that happen. He'll probably think I'm cheating on him.

[sundog]

((((((MMOS)))))))) I totally agree with Rohag. Just wanted to leave you a big hug and say I really hope this passes soon

((((Missingmyoldself)))) DITTO! to what Rohag said my friend!

[MissingMyOldSelf]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it! I didn't know if I was just over emotional from the holidays and stress from that and my home, and the fact that I'm a PMS'y wench could have come into play....

Much love to you guys! I feel a little better today after a good nights sleep, and a nice cup of camomille tea when I got home.

[Mustkeepjob32]

Glad you are feeling better Missing. The idea of tea sounds nice. I never drink tea or coffee, but tea always sounds relaxing.

Z

[racee]

i hope he could re consider you going on a small vaca. i had to do that back in march and i just up and left in the middle of the day didn't bring anything with me, drove 6 hours down south and ended up staying a week. yes my partner was a little upset since we have only been apart for 2 days in four years but he also knows my crazy moods i get in and too much was going on and i couldn't deal.
and you know what that ws the best week i had in over 10 years!! i did things i never have done before and experienced being my own person again. it was wonderful!!!!!
nothing will ever duplicate that time.
it was a little off at firts because i'm so used to checking in and not being tottaly free. but after a few days it was amazing!