Breakdown comfort.

8:08 P.M, Tuesday December 28, 2010.

About a half hour ago, I was talking to my mom. I was really frustrated and irritated because I have a really bad cold at the moment, and my throat felt like it had razorblades down it. Anyway, the talk eventually led into me breaking down and telling her everything that was on my mind. I started crying, and even yelled a little because I hate myself for being so weak. Basically, the talk led into me talking about;

-My Depression (Meds arent working good)
-My Father (Very oblivious to my mental state. Hardly see him, but when I do he basically makes me feel horrible about myself.)
-The Situation with my Sister and I (Sibling rivalry)
-Feeling worthless
etc.

But anyway, as I was crying and expressing everything that i've kept bottled up inside, she was there and listened. I was mentally breaking down, feeling so sad and everything. After I managed to get everything out, she hugged me and she told me she loved me. She is scheduling an apointment with a therapist after the first of January, so that made me feel a lot better about a lot of things. I'm still a little teary, due to being so sensitive. I hate seeing her cry, because I know it's me making her that way. I put all this stress on her, and it makes me feel so horrible. However, i'm glad to hear that she loves me and she wants to help me so bad. She's saved me over and over again from everything. Back when I was suicidal, she was the one who kept me here. I wish I could become stronger, and help her out with the finacial troubles. I'm just stuck on what to do. I felt like writing this to set closure for the day and make me relax a bit more. Anyway, I still feel really bad, but i'm proud of myself for getting it out rather than doing somthing i'd regret later.

Bless your heart! Good for you for getting it all out and not stuffing it. And you must have a wonderful mother who loves you very very much ~ you are extremely lucky to have her. I'm glad she set up an appointment for you.

Please don't feel bad for what you call "adding stress to her." She's your Mother!!! She loves you -- I'm sure she could tell that there was something bothering you before you told her -- Mother's have a way of knowing. I always know when something is bothering MY daughter or son. So it was better than you told her than make her just sit and worry what it was about. And of COURSE she's saved you time and time again -- that's what Mother's DO.

You should feel proud for getting it all out -- but please don't feel bad. Your mother can handle anything that you THINK you placed on her. Believe me, you didn't harm her. This is all part of being a parent. Please update us after you've seen your therapist, okay?? God bless you and take care. Hugs, Lee

((((( Haley )))))

I hope this is the start of something better for you.

Wow, here's to your Mother for being a great listener and sympathetic! That's often all it takes for us to feel like some cares about what we're going through. Glad you're gonna talk to a professional T in January.

Good job to both of you. Your mom sounds like she knows how much she can handle. She booked the therapist, after all. HUGGGGGSSSSSSS dear.