Tired of everything

I am not sure what is wrong with me. My last pdoc said I was bipolar. Before that I was just depressed and suicidal. For the last 5 years I have been in the bed. No interest in anything just waiting to die. Nothing excites me anymore. I feel my life is over. i have a very good online friend who has been trying to get me to come visit her to get me out of this house. The thing is she is on the other side of the continent and in another country. We talk on the phone often but I feel I would disappoint her if she met me. All my friends are online since i don't get out of my house much. I hate depression it takes away everything, your joy, your spirit and your will to live. I just exist.
Tired of everything

I am sorry your feeling so bad. I don't have friends except my boyfriend and he and I are taking some time a part. Sorry your online friend lives so far away. That sucks. I know what is like to be in bed all the time and have no energy and motivation. Are your meds any relief?

ConfusedOne, I can relate to how depression can steal your life away. Right now it is a daily battle for me. I tell myself that no matter what I can't give up--I have to force myself to keep reaching out. My friendships are mostly online but lately even those have been hard to maintain. I have to keep fighting my depression or I'd curl up in a little ball and never get out of bed.