[DespondentDaisy]

I mean, I wish I could go back to before I graduated highschool- back to when I actually thought I could accomplish anything. I had been told that forever and for a day growing up. Now it's sad because the things I want most, I can't have, and the things I can do with my life I don't care for. It's like the world has a box they force you to fit into and if you want to step out of the box , you also have to fit inside another character/personality box to do so, if not, you might as well crawl under a rock and bleed to death or numb the pain through drugs and alcohol cuz you're not going to get anywhere. I want to be an artist, a poet, maybe even a rock singer, that's not going to happen. I want to do a lot of things that I don't let myself do because of the repercussions from others and how they'll look at me different, family or otherwise. How sad and pathetic is that? I limit myself too much, trying to please others, and all it gets me is psychologically induced real health problems. Yea! I'm glad it's raining out, I hope it effin' storms so bad effing trees fall down on cars and it floods and the bridge closes down and the power goes out because I don't really effing care right now! Damn it! It's only a matter of time my life that I know it falls apart again. God this sounds horrible and whiny. Just ignore this, I'm in one of my moods. . . .

[jooker]

Hi Daisy:
I empathize with you. So sorry you are feeling so down. I have had these feelings before myself. And I'm sure many others have them from time to time. It's that age old question, "what is the meaning of life?" And when things aren't going well, and you're unhappy, that's a really hard question to answer. In my opinion, it has no meaning except that which we each give it. It sounds like you have some things you'd like to do that would give meaning to your life, except you're concerned those things won't be accepted by others. Well, I'll tell ya - a few years ago I said to H*** with what people think! But there's one person that should always be kind to you no matter what you do. That person is you. So if you think people are going to beat you up about your decisions, don't join the party and beat up on yourself too. Is worry about what they will think worth the depression? Is it worth more than your life? No. And truthfully in this state of mind you can become so depressed that you don't want to live. Now is there anyone who's thoughts and opinions matter more than your life? Well, the answer to that is h*** no!! So don't join the party of those you think would beat you down and beat yourself down. Do the things that will make you happy. In the end it's you who has to deal with the pain if you don't. I wish you peace and wellness.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by DespondentDaisy

I limit myself too much, trying to please others, and all it gets me is psychologically induced real health problems.

That resonates...

[pinklady132]

DespondentDaisy
hello please don't feel like that one thing i have learned in my life is u cant please everyone and please yourself !!
and YOU CAN do anything you want to do in your life !!
i and 25 with 2 young children a part time job and in September i started university full time to come a mental health nurse !!!
i was always the 'non achiever' in the family, left school with no qualification and no idea what i wanted to do and no one expected much from me!!
it took me 18 month to get the qualifications i need to get into uni, but guess what I DONE IT !! and so can you !! you just got to believe in yourself and like me stop worrying about what other people might say or think !!
i am allot happier with my life now because i don't care what people think about me.
just keep saying to you self 'I CAN DO IT'
i wish you all the luck in the world and hope you are able to love your self and know i deserve a happy life doing what you want to do

“Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.” - Fitzhugh Dodson
“First you write down your goal; your second job is to break down your goal into a series of steps, beginning with steps which are absurdly easy.” - Fitzhugh Dodson

Hello, DespondentDaisy.

http://hanofharmony.com/how-to-create-meaning-in-life/
http://www.redbookmag.com/print-this...imist?page=all
http://gmj.gallup.com/content/126884...?version=print
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...38&pf=3&page=1
http://www.uic.edu/depts/wellctr/dimen.shtml

Good luck.

[Longcat]

Dispondentdaisy, thank you for posting exactlyhow I feel today. Good to know that there are others feeling the same way. Life is funny because you have to "live for others" in a sence that others always expect something from you even if it doesn't positively or negatively affect their life. Eh, nomatter how the tables are turned there is no such thing as everything balancing out I guess

[Sunna]

You could be a poet we don't know yet. Not could have been. Could be still. Now and in the future.

You could still be an artist who will stir our souls.

Or at least you could find some like-minded friends and play music together and have a great time. (Know any well known groups that started as a garage band? Any that were started by grownups not teens?)

Please, please, stop believing your negative self-talk.

Would your supposed friends, detractors really, rather see you drunk and drugged than writing poetry or finding people to start a garage band or go play at local club on an amateur night?

If creating and playing songs will make you happy, you will love your yourself, and those around you will mirror it, new people will come into your life, and those that only wanted to see you miserable will shut up, drift away, disappear.

[mudgey]

This is also how I have felt today. I hate the cycle that I go thru on a daily basis. I always wanted more for myself and now, I'm not sure I will ever go anywhere, see anything or be anybody. I'm so unimportant. I bust my butt for nothing. I hate the way this all comes in waves. One day, all is bright, the next the world is crashing down around me. I hope tomorrow the sun comes back out because otherwise I need to find my rock to crawl under. I have made decisions in my life that my friends and family have not necessarily agreed with. Some of those decisions they blame for the way my life is today. Maybe, maybe not. I'm not sure how to make myself happy, but getting artistic and creativity out of you is a release.