Where is my....(whatever you miss or grieve or miss...)

Where is my ability to forgive myself? My belief that not everything is my fault...that there is no way to know what's to come, and that looking back and criticizing every move will not offer respite, but only further pain?

(((((wolfsong))))) for all your caring replies here.

Today is a newborn day.Yesterday cannot be undone.However there is power as to each new day.To reinvent yourself,to create an agenda you would admire,to dump and forgive all weights of yesterday so that the load you carry is not so burdensome,not so heavy................It is a freeing of our very own spirit.................Then we may climb another step on the staircase...and rise....
quote wolfsong:5-27-2010 in creative corner here at p.c.Title: by wolfsong....I edited this because there is a bit of a theological taste to the whole thing...I do not know your beliefs.But I don't push mine on people.So I edited it.But originally this was written from the desire to encourage us to forgive others as a freeing of our spirits.
Your ability to forgive yourself is within your grasp.I struggle with my own every day.I understand .But I have yet to meet Christ IRL...leaving to my experience, that of myself and fellow humans.Personally I can find beauty,originality,art...inside all people.But I tell you this....I dunno your secrets...and I don't care either.From what I have seen w/in P.C....I 'd find it difficult to believe you don't have a delicate magnetic beauty...and I'd like it if ...on some days...if for a moment in time.....you could catch a glimpse.Lovely perfectionistic professional ballerinas trip sometimes....works of fine art contain flaws.....fine wine is drawn from deteriorated grapes......and we....you...me...others....are originals...forever.WO.olf

I guess the obvious one is where has my happiness gone?

To wolfsong, how the hell do you stay so positive?
Life is just a cold series of events framed in the medium of human suffering. Everywhere you go, everything you read its all the same, people are hurt and dying, where does your hope come from?

Xacatecas I want to have the power to hand you back your happiness.I cannot....I hope you never give up the fight of finding and claiming it.I have to say ....I am like you......Do you want honesty? Because I can't lie.The truth of the matter is....and you just happened to catch me at a crisis moment...where in this moment I just don't care...I have no hope.No will to live.But I am a mum......and I was at birth.All I ever have wanted was to be a caretaker.People,animals,plants,causes.I take care of anything in which I see a weakness...things that seem to need an arm across their shoulder....I am not bragging ,because I do it to my detriment.There is one thing......just one....which keeps me ...or thus far,has kept me from finishing this mess of a thing I call banishment to the earth.....that is the legacy it'd leave to my son.Other than that...my day to day existence is hell.Has been since birth.That is the Gods honest truth.Every time I open my heart...I get burned.My home life is fraught with turmoil....I can't even sleep in safety.And every single human I have ever trusted has burnt me down.But what you see here is the wholeness which clings ....I give the things I need.I do what I want done to me.Sometimes it comes back.I have yet to 'get it' that everyone is going to harm me.I apologize for this...I know I will be ok in an hour....I will want to be mother to all the broken people in this cold ,cold world.But if loving is the only power I have to change the reality of the world I live in .....the world you live in...it is all I own.It is all I have to give.The only thing I can control.Whether or not I love.Whether or not I forgive.Or reach a hand out and ask..."Hey,are you alright? Do you need a hug?Are you hungry? Let me feed you."You know?.....It is this or just lay down and die.And it is all a human can do.All I can give.I am sorry to be crude,but the timing was very bad.I don't want sympathy.Just answering the question.There you have it.~W~

You are just a better person than me then.
I have nothing to give and what love I had is unwanted and thrown back in my face.
I have no legacy and am sure that if I did it would be worthless and unwanted.

I guess the key is to find someone who cares about you as a person rather than cares about you because they care about everyone.

Where's the me I use to be?

I am. The "me I used to be" has become many other people.

I have grown--yet I feel at a loss on this thread.

Where are all the people who needed me?
Why am I so dispensable?

Answer: I still haven't found a human being who cares for me the way I'd like to be cared for---------------I don't think there really are any---I send you all hugs--theo

"I still haven't found what I'm looking for...."

(((((Theo Kebs)))))

Xacatecas....I am NO beter than you.I am just in a different mode.I am chief of failings.I have done every wrong thing under the sun that a human can do almost.Just another human scratching her way out......No one is better than/worse than...we...just are.You won't always be in this space.I apologize to everyone that my post may have harmed.

Ha, the amount of people here who you have helped is amazing.

What have i ever done of worth? - nothing, all i do is drain people around me

Of course you are better than me.

The fact that you contemplate that thought speaks volumes about you.I can't argue because I don't know you...but tbh I see beauty in all people.I bet I would see it in you.~W~

Where is my True Love?????

Where is my ability to feel happy? Where is my stability?

where is my energy? I used to have it. I cannot find it anymore.

Where is my hope? Where is my faith? Where is my dream? Where is my happiness and where is my contentedness? And where is my love?

Where is my best friend?
Where is my ex-lover?

Where is my brother?
Where is my family?

Where am I?
Where is my ignorance?

Where is my happiness?
Where is my sanity, I'm sure I've left it around somewhere..

Rest in Peace, Brandon.. Forever and Always.