[Yack]

So this moving thing has ben driving me nuts for a long long time...as you guys all know...

Rural environment....all of my anxiety/feelings get directed inward because there is no where to get out to. No one to talk to....the weeks and days blend together until I am afraid I am going to lose it. Friday night? Huh? What's that??? That means more of the same - watch TV.

I don't know how to manage these feelings. Most of the time I feel like I am going to explode. I am not a home-body and after a while I feel as if I am going mad...

Was ok until the lovely incident that led me home again...now it's this vicious cycle of, "If I mess up, I have to go "home" again....like punishment...I do not want to spend the rest of my life is this cycle. The truth is, I can never go to my old home again. I feel like I wake up in a nightmare that never ends and has no solution.

how about community events. Im from a very small mountain town. if anything was going on in that town or the joining town the owners of the town store knew. You would be surprised at how many folks in my town would all go to the school events just because it was a way to connect with neighbors, and make new friend.right now in that little one school for two towns town everyone is gearing up for basketball season, the schools annual musical put on by the chorus (anyone in grades 8-12 tone deaf or not gets a part be it painting backdrops, lighting, continueing on up to a lead piece. and they are always looking for help from the community in helping anyway they can) Theres also bingo in the town hall and dances, parades, the community every winter sets up a skating area at the beach complete with community members volunteering as hot chocolate vendors and cooking various foods. The fire department is always looking for volunteers be it fighting fires or fundraising events. which required some people on the front line selling raffle tickets and gathering community donations, to behind the scenes cooks, cleaner upers and so forth. And this is only the beginning of what goes on in various small towns that I have lived in. Because of the neighbors being so spread out you don't hear about all the events until you visit the local store. Hang in there. Also the countryside is also a great place for journaling.