what the heck

alright, now let's be real for a second here.

So my family knows about my ed.
Sister criticizes and dad doesnt understand.
MOM admits SHE used to have an ed.
The more i'm around her, the more im thinking she still does.
Wanna know what she's eaten so far today?
NOTHING.
Wanna know what she does?
Runs. Alot. 5-10 miles a day, and on top of that adds a 20 mile bike ride in on the weekends.
I know she eats. But aparently its very sparing.
What the heck.
Guess that explains some of my own issue.
And why she's so damn tiny and im so damn large

explains... alot... doesn't it...

Mom had ED..very visible...
Sister had ED - very visible...
Nephew had ED... and recovered....

I was told by two Therapists... that ED's could be...genetic... that there was research... on it...

so.... beat... "the hell"... out of the ED.....and recover... be mad.. be angry.... and... use it to... help you... cause.. you be a very special person...

thanks.. Im really focusing on being better, and im actually losing weight from avoiding b/p's. so its a good sign and a good motivation

and yes i read somewhere that it can be genetic somehow. It sucks to know the woman i want to somday look like looks that way because she feels the same way i do and has some of the same problems i do. Kind of a let down, but not her fault.

When I first had my ed 20 years ago, it definitely had alot to do with watching what my mom didn't eat and how skinny she was. I was in competition with her and almost killed myself because I never saw how skinny I got. She was always skinnier and more beautiful in my mind. This time my relapse has different underlying issues, but was definitely triggered by my mom telling me last year, "I would rather see you overweight then smoking" when I quit smoking. I flipped out and went on a diet the next day. And the rest is history. But you can get healthy even if your mom doesn't. You need to take care of you and not worry about what she is doing to herself. Maybe once she sees you healthy, she can address her own issues, but you need to come first right now. Once I stepped out of the competition with my mom, I was able to heal. And now 20 years later, she eats normally and is a little heavier and has no issues whatsoever with food. And I am back to being a mess.