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#1
Mar 03, 2011, 05:42 AM
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I am stuck on this roller coaster that won't let me off. I want to be done with this. Before I lay down, my final words to myself are - please don't let me wake up. I really want to be well for my children, but I am losing the battle. Every step I take forward seems to send me flying a million miles back. The feelings are destroying me, maybe I never should have opened this pandorahs box... T tomorrow, can I admit to him how much pain I'm in, can I tell him I failed and SI'd again, can I tell him my son still needs me but I'm drowning here?????
I just want one day, one day with no negative thoughts, one day where I feel strong, one day where it doesn't hurt to be alive. Just one day....
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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#2
Mar 03, 2011, 05:49 AM
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 I hope you can have that day too, and that its the start of more times without pain for you. Do keep reaching out for help. Xxxx |
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#3
Mar 03, 2011, 08:48 AM
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I can relate and have some of the very same issues. There is so much that doesn't make sense, but somehow we have to hang in there. It's a group effort here. Keep posting to get it out. I'm hoping for that one day for you.... as well as myself.
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#4
Mar 03, 2011, 10:40 AM
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  Maybe you can write out today how much pain you are feeling, so you can hand the note to T tomorrow. Good to tell him/her. Your T may be able to reassure you with a few words that what you are going trough is actually a sign you are facing things you haven't before so you ARE stronger and ARE better--it just feels awful though, to go through this. Hope that IS the case. And, if it's not, better he know that too so he can reassess ho to help you deal with everything. Worried about you--hang in there!
Last edited by online user; Mar 03, 2011 at 10:41 AM. Reason: add missing word |
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#5
Mar 03, 2011, 11:28 AM
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I feel so bad for you. I can relate, esp. to having kids and trying to be mentally healthy for them. Today I'm having an OK day, but I've had a lot (a LOT) of days like the one you describe.
I hope you start feeling better soon. 
__________________
No one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned—Pete Townshend A beach is a place where a man can feel / he's the only soul in the world that's real—The Who, Bell Boy |
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