[blueglass]

Everyone needs me, my husband is three weeks out from dissappearing after having thoughts of dying. He is in therapy three times a week, getting med changes and is stablilizing but still fragile. 26 year old Daughter who lives with us is dating a charming but alcoholic man and has taken our 2 1/2 year old grandson camping with him, he is not the dad. I made it clear I thought it was a bad idea, she is now angry with me, but won't say it or discuss it. Youngest daughter getting married, needs my help with planning and I want to help her. My 71 year old mother lives next door to me and comes over everytime I have a moment to my self. I can not even go to the bathroom without someone following me... I know I should be happy that my life is so full, but really I just want to scream and cry. I went to the Dr. this am, got a script for Xanax, will it help or make me feel worse? I have never taken it.

[Leed]

Bless your heart ~ BE CAREFUL with the Xanax as it is very addictive. I got addicted in a heartbeat to that stuff. It will make you feel better. That was the problem for me ~ it made me feel TOO MUCH better. So I took 2 instead of one ~ and so on.

You NEED to take some time off. People are pulling at you in all directions. Enough is enough. Your Mother should call before she comes. That's just common courtesy. What if you and your husband were being intimate?? And she walked in??? Good grief! Your husband needs to be watched carefully ~ and of course you have to do it.

Yes, I know you want to help your daughter with her wedding plans, but how about having one of her friends help her for right now? You have too much on your plate. You can't watch your husband and contend with your mother and still plan a wedding all at the same time. Have your daughter call her best friend to come help with the wedding. She'll have more fun that way anyway.

Can you and your husband LEAVE for a short time and go somewhere - just the two of you?? Can you go to a favorite place to relax and enjoy each other?? This seems like the best time to get out and away from everyone. It would do your hubby good, and it sure wouldn't hurt YOU. Get away for a few days ~ it doesn't have to be expensive. Maybe just a run-down cabin in the woods. LOL Anywhere, so you two can relax!!

I wish you the very best. Something has to give sweetie or else you're going to cave in. Make sure you think JUST OF YOU - and no one else. Get away for awhile. There is NO REASON that you can't. NONE. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[embracinglife]

I agree with Leed, it seems like you need to work on setting some boundaries with people. Maybe do some reading on co-dependence, or setting boundaries in relationships.

I'm just starting to learn this too, that taking care of myself and finding my own happiness is actually very important for me to be able to help others. Good luck!

[blueglass]

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. I made an appointment for myself with a therapist for tomorrow. I know I need to take care of myself, but am having a hard time doing it. My husband and I do have a trip planned for the end of April, kind of far away I know. He is working on being able to leave his comfort zone with his therapist. He experiences panic when we go away from home. He has done it and with sucess in the past, so I know he will again. She is just working with him on some new coping strategies. So I do have that to look forward to. Boundaries are def something that we need. It's just very hard to break old habits. Thanks again.