I guess it is my fault...

A "good" friendship ended recently.
I say "good" loosely because it's been falling apart for years.

Needless to say, despite this person never truly being there, it's all my fault:

"Lol, at least I'm happy. i have enough friends here who *don't* cause ridiculous drama to let people i haven't seen in years bring me down. which... come to think of it? is all you've really done. it's like you're not even the same person anymore."

I've never discussed my "mental issues" with her because every time I tried she acted like I was telling her about a cut that I could just a band aid over.

But I guess that's how most people see depression.

They don't understand why I'm not "better" yet.

It's a daily struggle for me.

Most of the time I ignore it, but that only results in me getting mad and frustrated and blowing up at the people who do care.

I just want people to stop blaming me for everything.

I want people to stop leaving me.

I wish I had the strength to stop ignoring everything and allow myself to realize that I do have something going on inside.

I want to make myself believe that sometimes it's OK to put myself before others.

Hello, Secrets-In-Me.

http://www.wikihow.com/Love-Yourself
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/21307

Have you been reading my mind?
I hope you find the strength too.
I hope I find that strength too.

I sincerly hope so too.
Not just for me, but for you as well.
=)

I find it strange that there are so many people that feel the way I do here. Strange but comforting to know I'm not the only one. Chin up Secrets, those who leave aren't the ones you want around for life and those who don't understand are to afraid.

I too have lost friends because I can't help my moods and I can't help but mourn them. But I wonder if we are mourning the friend or that we had trusted someone who let us down?