Mad, but why

I had a really weird Monday. I was fine at work. But just short of getting home, I started to get irritated at everything. Now, this isn't unusual, but through-out the evening, irritated turned to anger. I was just mad. I couldn't really explain it to my husband- he wanted to know what I was so mad about. I ended up screaming at my children. I finally walked away from my son and went out in the garage and just screamed. At the top of my lungs, I just screamed. I did do a little door slamming before going out there. I finally got in my car and took a drive around the block. I came back home and took a shower. I was calmer, but still very mad. Then I cried for the rest of the night, until I fell asleep. Yesterday I just felt like a zombie. I didn't want to feel. If I didn't have to get up, I would have stayed in bed. I have never done that, but the urge is very tempting lately. I still feel very blah today. I''m not mad anymore, I don't think, but just so very sad.

Wow, in a way I'm glad you posted this. I've had days where I feel the exact same and I don't know why I'm mad - just that I want to scream and throw a tantrum until I'm exhausted (not that I do haha) and they usually end up in me isolating myself until the emotion passes, and then I feel sad because I hate that I get these moods and that they impair my ability to connect with other people.

Can you try journaling... sometimes when I just start writing down the random thoughts in my head I actually find what triggered the emotion

@smackythefrog- the full blown tantrums come every once and a while for me. I think I suppress for so long and then it builds and POP! But the worst is with my kids, because then it makes me sad that I yelled or whatever.

@can't stop crying- I do journal when I can. But sometimes I just don't even know what to write. I am still clueless as to the exact trigger of my episode the other night. Or maybe it was just the combination of things happening. BTW- I hope you are doing ok. I know you have issues with your son and as mine is only 10, I see him following the same path. It is so hard- and even worse when you have to maintain yourself at the same time. I feel much like a lot of your posts.

Thanks!

it does suck to have anger or other emotions and not know where they are coming from...maybe it was from the irritability? Or maybe you have something in your life causing you anger and you still need to work through it. I hope you figure it out.

I raised my son alone and he was ADHD and his acting out would literally drive me up the wall at times. I learned that if I blew up at him it was going to cause long term harm and would only make his illness worse. I learned to take myself out of the situation when I felt I just could not handle it any longer. I would sometimes count to 10, 20, 50 whatever was needed to regain my composure and then I could go back to my son and take care of his needs better. Sending you very gentle ((())) Patricia

I have been angry like that all at once...I know something triggers it.......We repress so much.....little things that bug us, big things we can't discuss.....finally the fuse blows........and you have rage.......The only answer I have is to try and communicate when something is bothering you....tell someone how you are feeling.......if we don't we explode......been there!!!

Thinking of you!