[mudgey]

I'm going to the pdoc tomorrow. I'm not sure what to tell her. I feel the same except in a heightened state of everything. I have anxiety that has come out of the woodworks. It comes on me quick sometimes. I start the racing thoughts and I start crying. My home life is rough right now so I'm not sure if that is having its affect or my meds are just wrong. I want a happy pill! Do they make one of those? Just one all wrapped up with happy goodness. I'm on 200mg of zoloft, 300mg of Welbutrin (was up to 450, but that made me freak out a little bit, so I went back down), and xanax as needed for anxiety/panic attacks. The xanax is new. It has definitely helped smooth over some hectic times, but I've been trying to work thru some things on my own. I don't want to become dependent, but just having some makes me feel better.

My son has Tourette's Syndrome w/ ADHD, OCD, ODD, bipolar. He's 10. He is the one of the best parts of my life and one of the worst. He is definitely my trigger. My whole family is my trigger. I think I squashed my feelings so long and ignored that now I just can't take it anymore and things are seeping out. I'm not sure that if anyone I know, REALLY knows me and how I feel and the depression and self injury. Not even my husband- who is real PITA sometimes and other times great. I throw myself into work, but don't have enough to keep me busy all the time, but I would much rather be at work, than at home with my family. So suffocating sometimes. I sigh a lot. I am always trying to get that deep breath. Hold on to it, but I can't. Sorry for rambling.

[thea_kronborg]

I know what you mean about Xanax making you feel better just to have it. I have a few left over from a previous prescription. I don't take them too often, but it's nice to have them there as a sort of safety net.

It's true though, one worries about meds even though you're glad to have them.

It sounds to me though you know exactly what to tell your pdoc. Does he/she listen to you?

[justfloating]

(((((((((mudgey)))))))))


I know how overwhelming family can be. Sending good vibes to help you cope.

[lavieenrose]

It sounds like a terribly stressful situation. I hope that things work out for the best for you.

[blueglass]

I agree with Thea, I think what you posted would be a good place to start with your pdoc. Sounds like you have some experience with the pdoc based on your meds but if not, be prepared sometimes the psychiatrists aren't that good at listening, or rather they listen, they just don't say much.

[thea_kronborg]

did you go? how did it go?

[mudgey]

So I went and she decided not to change meds. She thinks right now my personal situation is overshadowing the meds because the stress is so high. So, she doesn't want to switch around on meds since that could cause other issues I don't need right now. And she kept me on the Xanax for the heightened anxiety. But as you know, they don't do a whole lot of talking/listening. Just drug dealing.

She also thinks I need to do therapy, but I can't afford to do therapy for myself and for my son right now. And we had a really disappointing session yesterday with our new T for my son. I wanted to discuss with her and my husband how I don't feel like he is a support system right now. He is in need of a complete attitude change. And emotionally I just don't feel like I'm anyone's number one. I want to be someone's priority for even a few minutes! Might boost my self esteem. So, the saga continues. Just paying all these people and not going anywhere as of yet. I know it is a long process, but for as much money as it all costs, it needs to be faster! I need some solutions! Thanks for all the comments and caring. Coming here has really helped me when I don't feel like I have anywhere else to turn.

[krisakira]

I have tourette's. it can be very frustrating and irritable-making. can make you lash out when you don't mean to, because your tics are frustrating you so much, its liek constantly under pressure and can fly off the handle at any moment. if you have any questions about tourettes you can PM me...

[online user]

Sorry you are having a rough time, mudgey! Can you write in a journal, to help you vent and express your feelings, in lieu of being able to go to therapy? That might help clarify things for you--you can go into more specific detail than you can really here, but do write to us, too. We care about you and are pulling for you to get through this!

[mudgey]

Originally Posted by krisakira

I have tourette's. it can be very frustrating and irritable-making. can make you lash out when you don't mean to, because your tics are frustrating you so much, its liek constantly under pressure and can fly off the handle at any moment. if you have any questions about tourettes you can PM me...

I have A LOT of questions about the tourette's. How old are you? Do you have any other disorders with the Tourette's? How do I motivate my son? I feel like at 10 he has already given up. I can see a lot of depression in him since I know what it "looks" like. On Tuesday, he completely refused to do his homework. So, he wasn't allowed to play outside or anything. He spent more time crying and being upset over not being able to do anything "fun" that he could have done the work. He doesn't like writing and so he tries to avoid doing any work involving a lot of writing. I scribe for him, but he is starting to expect that too much and doesn't even try. He refuses to learn to type. Before he went to bed on Tues, I tried to explain to him again that it was his decision not to do his homework so he had consequences to that. He still never understood that I'm not just a mean mom, that he chose his own actions. I'm not sure what to do with him or how to make him understand.

[krisakira]

I am 22, and along with tourette's syndrome, i have major depressive disorder, PTSD, DID, and panic disorder. I was a very stubborn angry child (and was abused because of that because parents wanted to control me). My tourette's started at age 8. I did not have any other diagnosis at the time. But i know i had anger management problems. i just did not know what to do with my emotions. My handwriting was horrible as a child, and i would get in trouble at school for it, the teacher would make me write my name over and over and over when other kids were playing. That was not fun... i am not sure what else to say. each child is different and need different approaches to parenting. i have never had a child. but i do know that if my parents would have just let me know that my emotions did not make me a bad person, and that there were ways of dealing with them, then who knows how much better i could have done.