thinking bad thoughts

Hello, Rebecca. Does your psychiatrist or therapist or any other medical professional know what is going on? Seems quite obvious you are not getting the help you need.

Hey there,

When things become overwhelming I have suicidal thoughts as well. Sometimes for no reason, so just know that you are not alone. If you need vent, this is a great place to do so. Talking to a doctor about suicidal thoughts is tough better if you slowly open up to a friend and then a counselor you may find it easier to talk to a doctor.

Stay safe,

Crazyman28

I'm scared to tell my friends about my suicidal thoughts. I don't want them to worry. I really don't feel unsafe, and I'm sure I'd never act on those thoughts; they just come into my head sometimes and I do my best to ignore them or distract myself. It's weird because on the one hand I want my friends to know that I'm not well, so they understand why I'm incapable of doing very much right now, but on the other hand I hate it when they worry. Plus ... I'm just tired of talking about my depression, I guess. It's always the same, I feel like such a broken record.

One step at a time...be patient with yourself. Sometimes it takes a while to feel the effects of meds. Are you feeling safe now? If you begin to or are feeling unsafe, get help immediately please!
The depression will fade, for now take pride in what you manage to accomplish rather than looking at what you didn't. There are times when a shower was my biggest accomplishment of the day, but at least it was something.

I can relate.
The other day my dad told me over the phone again that I sounded fine. I sounded fine because I cover really well and don't tell him what's going on. (Somehow I imagine I am protecting him?) My T really thinks it's time to tell him more about it. Even with the bad thoughts, the racing thoughts and the sui** thoughts, it just seems "normal" to me. These days I almost think, well doesn't everyone think about this all the time? I have to be honest with myself and say, no. I told him two years ago I was depressed. What else can I say? I should be better by now. But, I know it is progress not perfection.
I guess I just wanted to say I think I know what you mean...

(((((Rebecca))))))

not sure if this makes things better or not but your friends will probably worry if you tell them or not. It's probably obvious that something is going on. I'm not saying you should tell them about the suicidal thoughts - nor am I telling you not to. Just saying, that you shouldn't feel bad for worrying them. It's not your fault it really isn't. And it won't be this way forever.

Besides, depending on the friend they may appreciate it. Keep in mind I think you need to choose carefully, but as a friend I would be both upset that you were not doing well but also glad that you felt safe enough to tell me. If you tell someone probably would be good to give them some direction though because it's a hard thing to understand.

i think I know the thoughts you're talking about , I've had them before. No fun. Just make sure you keep an eye on it and keep fighting it - the thoughts are not true, you shouldn't listen to them *hugs*