[nzgal]

I'm not sure if this is where im meant to be AND if its just an American site thing, I dunno, but im here anyway.

Ive been reading some of your previous posts and realised im not actually alone when my mind works overtime.

But however I don't wanna sound like someone looking for attention or sympathy, cause I don't deserve it, theres heaps of people out there who deserve things more than me and I try to get by by thinking that life could be worse. I feel selfish even posting here now.

But you all seem so supportive that maybe sometimes I can come tell u whats up and u might make me see things different. I know things aren't really as bad as they seem, but sometimes it just feels like it.

Im 21 so I've hardly even started living and it seems crappy

It's prolly silly and im just stupid but oh well, if this isnt the right place for me just say and I'll leave yas be.

Im usually the happy one but thats a big front I put on cause its what people want me to be, by myself im miserable alot, I feel like I have to keep my mind busy to keep it from wandering and thinking about things to much.

This is prolly really boring and I should say something happy, I am a happy person but when things go wrong it hits me twice as hard as anyone else. Im a only child so when someone betrays me they don't realise it but its worse for me cause my friends are all I have around my own age, and trust me some of them have sure screwed me over, 1 was the girl who my bf cheated on me with, 1 took a bf i was just sorting things out with, 1 uses me as a fill in for when her bf is busy, others make me feel like im babysitting them if we're drinking and BLAAAAAAAH I can't be bothered going on. My friends are really important to me and they have no clue.

I don't wanna be one of those people who moan when they have no bf etc or moans about boys all the time, but I get hurt the same as anyone else, ive given up in that division.

I don't know if im depressed and I don't really want to go to a therapist because I know id sit there and say nothing, I really would, I have symptoms though, I cry every night by myself, i cant make decisions, i cut 1 of my wrists last year but I was to chicken to do the other so that proved that I wouldnt do that - all I could think about was I couldnt do that to my parents.

Not a clue what im doing.

Im 4th year at uni doing a music degree with marketing etc in it and this year ive done my best marks ever, its still hard though, people think im smarter than i am, i may act smart and know lots of stuff, but maybe its the wront stuff.

Who knows,

Ive done alotta silly things to myself and wish lots of things were different, but theyre not are they . . . so I just gotta keep going as is.

Ill talke more once Ive got a bit of trust on here

Anyway this is prolly the longest post in the history of posts so ill go now.

remember, if im in the wrong place dont be afraid to say

[tiredashell]

You are far from being in the wrong place! Everyone here is so supportive! I just got on here last week and so many people have replied to my post. It made me feel alot better knowing that there were other people out there who care enough to talk to someone when they are feeling down. Some gave advice, some just support, and some who just let me know that I wasn't alone. I know how it is to be betrayed by friends. It's happened to me plenty. You just have to push on through the bad times and pray for the good. I was in the same boat as you up until last year (as far as the love life goes). I thought I'd never find anyone who was worth having or someone that would treat me right. Just when I was least expecting it, I met Mr. Right. We were married in May. I lived alone and would often cry myself to sleep. I was in college too. Then I had to have surgery on my knee. I quit school. I thought I would go back after my knee healed, but I haven't yet. I hated depending on someone all the time. I just stayed tough and fought like hell to regain control of my life. I'm still fighting to regain complete control but I have a lot of health problems that are keeping me from doing so. All I'm saying is just hang in there. We've all been there and it's hard to get through, so just stay strong and you will make it!! Life is tough, you just have to be tougher. You stay in school, graduate, get the job you have always wanted and you'll be a lot happier. I wish like hell I was as far along in school as you are. I'm in my first year and I'm 26 and not getting any younger. You always have your parents to talk to also. I can now talk to mine about anything. Once you are grown up it's a lot easier than you think! My parents have given me the best advice. I think because they have been there before. I was never close to them growing up but since I've been out on my own we are closer than we've ever been. Just remember, they will always be there for you no matter what because they love you. Feel free to post as much as you want to. Even if it is just babbling, venting, whatever. Someone will always give you the support you need.
Take Care!
tiredashell

[penna]

welcome to the board. i don't think you're in the wrong place, and don't worry about not having something "happy" to post--you're on a board for depression. if we were having tons of happy thoughts, we probably wouldn't be reading here anyway.

this is not just an american thing. we have people here who live in the UK and Norway, and probably several other countries as well.

if you're at all thinking about seeing a therapist, don't worry about not having anything to say. lots of people (myself included) spend most of the time staring at the floor or off into space. most of the things my therapist knows about me are things i have written down instead of saying. therapists are used to that. but if you're not ready for that right now, that's cool too.

[qt3]

Welcome and please keep coming back. You ARE in the right place

[mildred_the_cat]

hello! I'm not from America (i'm from drizzly old England) so even though loads of people are, don't feel like its just an American site. I've been here for a few weeks now and have found most people to be warm and lovely (even though some of them do consider peanut butter and jam an acceptable sandwich filling! :-))
So, yep, you're in the right place!
by the way i'm 23 so there are people around your age here too.

Mildred

[Willow]

welcome here nzgal. You are in the right place. Oh.. and NZ is #1 of all the places on earth I'd like to visit some day! Keep reading and posting. It's amazing how much you can learn here just by reading and posting. glad you found us

[nzgal]

THANK YOU all so much, you're so sweet. And its nice to see that theres people of all ages here too - well its not but it is if you know what I mean

Im feeling so good tonight im real excited about this concert my orchestra is doing in the town hall, im not even phased bout how big it is or anything im just real excited and cant wait our final rehersal is next week and i can't wait.

I dunno bout peanut butter and jelly in a sandwich though hmmm, i tried sushi with raw fish in it today and it was actually ok, id had the chicken 1 b4 and it was yucky but raw fish and crabstick 1 was nice . . . i so weird

NZ is really beautiful, I think we're pretty lucky here !

I hope my good spell lasts, I think it is about me making it last ! Ive got heaps to look forward to at the moment and im just gunna go have fun !

Take care xxxxxx

You only have ONE chance to make a first impression, Kia Kaha

[nzgal]

and TIRED, hi

I can so relate to how you use to feel, sometimes I feel absolutely miserable at night. Its not always about not having a man but I think I might just fear being alone, cause im an only child, i dont know, im really independant and like time by myself but yeah we will see.

Tonight ive decided im taking things as they come, i prolly always say that :P but its worth another try hehehe.

I think ur gunna do real well in ur learning because perhaps you want it more than some of the others that are there . . . I know you can do it.

Funny you should mention my parents too, cause we are a close family right YET i never have talked to them about stuff, but lately theyve been trying to get stuff out of me, theyve got heaps of their own problwmes to worry about but they still told me the same thing as u that they love me etc, and we aint a family that says i love u etc but we are real close - seems weird i kno. But yeah we will see what happens there too.

Thank u for the support

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

You only have ONE chance to make a first impression, Kia Kaha

[heidu]

A little late but I wanted to say welcome to the forums. It's a good place with lots of great people. If your looking for friendship, support or someone to talk to you are in the right place :O)
Heidu

There is a time in life when you stop existing and start living.
There is a time in life when you are given a new chance and new dreams.
There is a time in life when the old is to be forgotten and the new embraced.

There is a time in life......And that time is now.
Unknown

[bunny44]

young lady, you're really in charge---most young people aren't where you are, or have such a rosy future. you don't have to say a word in talk therapy, which most universities have for free. you just have to show up. try it. then see.

pirate