greetings

Hey everyone, I'm new around these parts! Just wanted to introduce myself... a little about me: I'm a college student, transferring back and forth between two colleges, extremely into music, I play viola, and find this community encouraging!

I've been going to counseling for a little over a year and have had a few different counselors during that time period. I've been depressed for most of my life but didn't realize it because it was more of a dull depression... the one friend I had that I knew to be depressed was much more up and down than I ever was... then I went off to college and things changed. Suddenly I became more and more like that person I used to know. I made some great friends at school who, looking back on it, really supported me after only knowing me for a month or so. But anyway, that's when I went to counseling... things were getting out of control for me. All my counselors wanted me to try medication because of the constant depression, but I didn't want to do it yet.

I was steady for a while, then this semester, I switched schools again. The situation with school, loss of a few close relationships, and other things has proven to be too much for me. I went on antidepressants about two weeks ago. I guess I just feel that it's time to try.

Anyway, I had a question for you guys. I meet with my counselor once a week, and after these past few very chaotic and emotionally violent weeks, I now feel like I have nothing to say during our sessions. I'm taking things slow, just starting on the meds, and trying not to think too much... therefore, when I meet with him, I've got nothing to say.

Has this happened to anyone else? This is a pattern with me... I hit a wall with counselors. I really like this counselor and feel the most comfortable with him out of any of my previous counselors. I know that sessions aren't supposed to be stressful, but not having anything to say makes me nervous and want to avoid the sessions. Any suggestions?

hope to get to know you guys well!

best,
Jenn

<font color=red>from childhood's hour i have not been
as others were -- i have not seen
as others saw -- i could not bring
my passions from a common spring.
from the same source i have not taken
my sorrow; i could not awaken
my heart to joy at the same tone;
and all i lov'd, i lov'd alone.
-edgar allen poe</font color=red>

Welcome to the boards, Jenn.

Maybe you're nervous because you do have things to say and you can't yet? or you don't know how?

I put off seeing my T (therapist) for a long time, because I was ok, just a little panicky sometimes. I've been seeing him now for over 2 years. We email each other every day and I always have things to tell him.

I had to get used to him, had to trust him which was, and still is, almost impossible for me. Take your time, keep going to see the one you are most comfortable with - I think the rest will come in time as you learn to trust and open up.

Hope to see more of you.

Mary Alice

Welcome to the boards Jenn!
This can be a great place to talk to people and find support.

As for the counseling sessions, maybe you could actually tell your counselor what you told us and together you could find a solution. They should be able to guide in conversations and assist you in bringing up the topics and talking about the things you need to. Just a thought.
Best wishes,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

Hi Jenn, welcome to the forums!

Wow college, it sure can be an exciting (and demanding) time of your life. Along with the other ideas you've gotten, I wanted to add this one. Maybe it would be helpful for you to carry a journal with you between sessions, and when you think of things that you might want to talk to your counselor about, write them down. Then when you go to your session, you can choose one and get the ball rolling. Before you know it, your sessions are so productive that it seems like you don't have enough time. That really helped me a lot.

Just an idea for what it's worth .

Looking forward to getting to know you!

bp

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

Greetings and salutaions..

Welcome to one of the best fourms I know on the net..

talking to a T, is tricky, for you have to trust him/her just like maryalice said.

Have you tired a journal, to take with you to the meetings then maybe you would be able to tell him what triggerd your bout of deperssion this time or last time ect..

I know it helped me when I did nto think we had anything to talk about...

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>

Jenn,

You sound a lot like me. I've had depression pretty much my whole life too. Usually it has been just kind-of dull but not out of control, but there have been exceptions to that. The first time I went to counseling one of my roommates in college referred me. I was so nervous about it, and I had no idea what I was supposed to say - what was important - what was okay to talk about. I went there and just pretty much sat and didn't say much at all. It took me ten years and five different counselors before I ever (a) found the right one, and (b) started talking about the things that mattered. I always thought I really shouldn't be depressed - my life wasn't that bad compared to other people I knew of. But there were still things I needed to talk about and there still are.

What made the difference? First of all, my current therapist asked the right questions from the beginning, which allowed him to find out what my main problems really were, and also gave me an idea of the things that were relevant - a whole lot more than I had thought before. He used a written packet of questions he put together, that he uses with all of his new clients - fill it out and bring it back kind of thing. Maybe you could ask your counselor if he has anything like that. Or just tell him that you need some help knowing where to start and what kinds of things to talk about. Also mention that you have been shutting off your emotions and trying not to think too much. That's worth talking about right there.

It's still hard for me to bring up topics that I need to talk about in therapy. We've reached an understanding that I don't like the "How are you doing?" question, but he always starts off with that anyway and I always say okay, but now he knows to follow it up with, "Are you really?" because my "okay" doesn't mean anything. If I have a big issue to talk about I'm nervous and it's really hard to bring it up, but if I don't really have anything significant, I'm nervous about that too. Even though I have liked this therapist from the beginning and finally felt understood, it's just hard. We spent a huge amount of time just sitting there waiting for me to be able to think of something to say or to be able to say what I needed to. The thing that finally made a difference was when I wrote him a letter and brought it and then we could talk about it. Now we use e-mail. He doesn't answer e-mail very well, but I write to him and then he knows what I need to talk about it, so it's there and not so hard for me to bring it up verbally.

I hope some of this helps you. Having a counselor you feel comfortable with is so important. Welcome!
-Wendy

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>